Remembering ... Again!

(Posted Nov. 06, 2009 F.P.A.R Forum and here Mar. 31, 2010)

When Mr. Saveloy, a school teacher, met Mr. Cohen, a barbarian and leader of the Silver Horde*, he very quickly found that  he began to like him.  His honesty and simply code of right and wrong very soon had Mr. Saveloy wishing he too was a barbarian.  Up until that point Mr. Saveloy's greatest battle had been in trying to keep discipline in the classroom.  So he became a member of Ghengiz Cohen's Silver Horde.

As Mr. Saveloy (aka Teach) reminisced, having been with the 'Horde' for a while, it was hard for him to remember having ever done anything else.

So ... is it just me, or is it the same for other doggy people?  Because I can't really remember NOT having a dog, and can't imagine myself EVER being without one!

Ramble over ... I'm finding it hard to concentrate what with the noise of four dogs snoring.

Although there are quite a few folks logged on in the mornings, nothing much seems to be happening.  Anyway, shouldn't the women-folk be hoovering and doing the laundry n stuff?

*Interesting Times by T. Pratchett

Oh my poor back!

I am not very often ill, I have never broken a bone and I have never been mentally incapacitated (although some would argue against that point).  I have been lucky, I guess, in that I have never suffered as others have suffered.

In my life there have been no major medical problems to report; I once had the grisly bit on the end of my nose nearly ripped off at school playing rugby (for the last time); I have had my appendix out when I was in my 40's; I have had pneumonia; I had the fingers of my left hand dislocated (popped 'em back in myself ... ouch!)by a friendly kick; I had both legs (thighs downwards) scalded by the contents of a kettle (hence the almost hairless less on an otherwise hairy body ... 'cept for my head, which wasn't scalded).

Apart from those minor injuries / ailments, I can only report the usual catalogue of childhood maladies such as german measles, chicken-pox, mumps and dontwannagotoschoolitis.

However, over the past three years or so I have been somewhat unfortunate to have acquired a dodgy back.
It's the same back that I grew up with and fully trusted throughout my formative and early adult years, but it seems now to have developed an attitude problem.

I say 'attitude problem' purely because it complains now constantly about everything I do.

I walk the dogs ... back ache!
I mow he lawn ... back ache!
I do the shopping ... back ache!

I have always been aware that in my later years that things would probably become more difficult for me and that simple things such as tying my shoelaces could end up as a chore for someone else and not for me, but I am only 51 years old and it's already beginning!

Yesterday I was on an overnight call.  I had to spend the night with a client as he requires 24 hour support.
All was well when he went to bed at a little after 10 pm so I made sure everything was locked up or switched off then I settled myself down to a packet of crisps (cheese & onion if you are interested) and my book (Thud! by T. Pratchett).  At about 11.15 pm, as I had to be up early, I decided to call it a night and went to bed.

As always, I was ripped from my slumbers at 05.10 am when my client turned on his radio and began singing along with the hit's of yesteryear.  Instead of swinging into action (putting a pillow over my head), I screamed in agony as pain shot up my back.  Ok, so I didn't actually scream!  I'm no wimp and can handle pain ... just ask my dentist how much he saves on Novocain ... but I did make a squeaky sort of 'eark' sound and that isn't wimpy, is it?

Anyway, the upshot is that during the night (God knows what I'd been doing) I put my back out as I slept!
I had to roll carefully out of bed and slowly raise myself to my feet with a very straight back. Getting dressed took me nearly half an hour and brought me out in a cold sweat. Luckily my relief came in early and I very gingerly took myself off home, where I now ponder the agonies that lie ahead.
As I type this, I am still in pain but awaiting some modicum of relief from the pain killers I washed down with my coffee only moments ago.

This is not the first time that my back has, if you'll pardon the phrase, stabbed me in the back!  Once, I picked up an empty shoe box and my back inexplicably locked, leaving me bent double for almost an hour (it's quite a shameful position to be stuck in, I can assure you).  Another time, after a round of golf, I was sitting at the bar in the clubhouse and as I turned to face someone there was an audible 'click' and I was stuck for several minutes, much to everyone's amusement, in a half turn.

There have been countless other incidents over that past three or so years, some more painful and debilitating than others.  If I were to detail all of them I would be typing for a very long time (that is if I could even remember them all).

In conclusion I would like to say that, to be fair, I have had a pretty active life (sport, Army, etc..) so that I have probably put more than the average amount of pressure and stress on my creaking skeleton.  If you, dear reader, lead or have led a more sedentary life than I have, then I wish you pain free back for many years to come.

Look after it because when they hurt they hurt big!

Million to one chance

Unfortunately I did not win the Euro Millions yesterday.

This is probably a non-event that I share with most of you, so no doubt it comes as no surprise.

When you think that it's 76,275,360 to 1 against anyone actually winning the top prize, it's a wonder any of us do it at all.  There is, of course, that old lotto chestnut that everyone (much to my annoyance) spouts after yet another failure to win ...

          You've got to be in it to win it!

... which drags us back, time after time, to the shop to buy our tickets.

During our life span it is highly likely that we will all miss out on some fantastic holiday of a life time or that sports car you always wanted, or ....,  or ....  The list is endless I s'pose.

For example ... if you play 4 lines at £2 for a period of 25 years it will cost you £10400.

Adds up, doesn't it!

According to (the great)* Terry Pratchett, a million to to one shot comes off nine out of ten times.  So using his logic, we can all shorten the odds against winning the Euro Millions to around about 8.4 million to 1.

I hope that cheers all you wannabe-millionaires up.




* you don't have to read that bit if you disagree.
.

Books

(Originally posted on February 15, 2010)


Books! I read 'em all the time, sometimes into the wee small hours.


I read books by Pratchett (got 'em all n read 'em more than once), Holt (very funny), Deavers (nice twists n turns) and a host of others too.


But I have come to learn that there are only three basic story lines that authors follow.  Oh, I know they all write about different things, but they all follow three principle themes.


- Boy meets girl


The 'Boy' meets the 'Girl' of his dreams and rather than just getting down to the nitty-   gritty, the 'Girl’ plays hard to get, forcing the boy to prove his love via some sort of adventure/task.

- Hero and villain

The good guy saves girlfriend/friends/country/world by facing and defeating a bad guy who inexplicably wastes every opportunity to kill the hero by taking just enough time to explain how he is going to kill said hero using an impressive technological method, wherein the hero comes up with an instant plan of how to kill the baddy and escape. 

note:  A villain could be anyone or thing.  Maybe even an inanimate object (obviously it wouldn't talk but something will pop up to help the hero-chappy)

- Jerk

This is sometimes a combination of the other two.  The 'Jerk' is the lovable fool who is the butt of all jokes, the lowest of the low and the least likely person that anyone would/could fall for.  But, low and behold, after a series adventurous mishap's the 'Jerk' finds out he's a damned site cleverer than everyone, including himself, thought he was and he wins the day and the girl!


There are, of course, a myriad of variations to these three themes, but they all follow very similar lines. Sometimes they cross and intertwine giving the reader the impression of uniqueness', but I assure you, they all are basically the same as the descriptions above. 

What, I hear you ask, is the point of this article?

And the answer is simply...

... I have no idea! It just popped into my head so I thunked about it then typed it.  That is how my head works ... or doesn't ... if you know what I mean. 

There should be a sign outside our house saying

        DANGER!  Man Thunking Inside 

Remembering

(Originally Posted on November 06, 2009)

When Mr. Saveloy, a school teacher, met Mr. Cohen, a barbarian and leader of the Silver Horde*, he very quickly found that  he began to like him.  His honesty and simply code of right and wrong very soon had Mr. Saveloy wishing he too was a barbarian.  Up until that point Mr. Saveloy's greatest battle had been in trying to keep discipline in the classroom.  So he became a member of Ghengiz Cohen's Silver Horde.

As Mr. Saveloy (aka Teach) reminisced, having been with the 'Horde' for a while, it was hard for him to remember having ever done anything else.

So ... is it just me, or is ithe same for other doggy people?  Because I can't really remember NOT having a dog, and can't imagine myself EVER being without one!

Ramble over ... I'm finding it hard to concentrate what with the noise of four dogs snoring.

Although there are quite a few folks logged on in the mornings, nothing much seems to be happening.  Anyway, shouldn't the women-folk be hoovering and doing the laundry n stuff?


*Interesting Times by T. Pratchett

Early Mornings

(Originally Posted on November 05, 2009)

Why do I get up early on day's off? I blame it on the dogs saying "Someone's got to be there for them",  but the truth is, dog's or no dog's, I'd get up anyway.  I've slipped into a routine which, if truth be told, drives me mad cos  I like nothing better than to stick two fingers up at the world and carry on sleeping while ev'ryone else is out earning a crust.

But I get so little 'me time' if I'm not out working, up and down between Barry and Merthyr most days, then I'm walking the dogs (thinking time) or cooking or .... well, you can mind your own business about that last 'or'!

So,I guess what I'm saying (typing) is, that early mornings ... and it doesn't matter when I went to bed the night before ... is my time and my space. I will never be truly 'on my own' because of the dog's, but we have an understanding ... they know the score and settle at my feet; no whining, barking or general making a nuisance of themselves ... and it works!

Do you want to know something?  Ev'ryone should 'dribble' on like this!  It helps clear your head of all the jumble that builds up between your ears.

Now, as this is a 'doggy person' forum, here is the latest on my 'pack'.

Last night Ben surprised me again (the first surprise being his age) by bolting up the garden and then back again.  Clover thought it was playtime and took off after him (she's very wary of Ben cos of his age I think) but at a more sedate pace. Sym showed his utter disapproval by cocking his leg on the rotary washing line and Sox, with her usual 'hard done by' look waited by the door to go back into the warmth.

It took some minute's before all of the dogs sorted out their lower- and upper-case P's but when they did, an orderly queue was formed at the door ready to go to bed.  They all got their bedtime cheese and settled down for the night.
Ben accompanied me upstairs and after his 'safety check' prowl around the bedroom, went to sleep on his hot water bottle. I read my book (a Pratchett) until the early hours (more relaxing 'me time') and then I too closed my peepers.

The dogs are still respecting my space and 'me time' as I type, but Sym is looking at me ALL the time ... he know's 'me time' ends with a trip to the park!