The Story So Far

It seems to me that my destiny is to be the ‘eternal sufferer’.

No matter what I do; what precautions I take, things are just meant to go wrong.

There was the long saga with my rust-bucket car (deceased), the fence (twice), the guttering on the house (I haven’t told you about that, have I?), the laptop (throws tantrums like a petulant teenagers) and my desktop PC (oldoldoldoldold!) and now the garage wall.

Let me tell you about that wall…

It is an old … very old ,,, crack in the brickwork that dates back more than fifteen years, which is as long as my wife has lived here.

It was never repaired properly (according to the surveyor) but was masterly disguised by someone with an artistic bent.  When the missus bought this place it had been made to look just like any other wall.

Now, after all this time a rather large leak in the garage roof has revealed this wall to be, in fact, a forgery!

Ok. It’s too late to run to the previous owner (long dead,I’m afraid) and punch him in the face, so we braced ourselves for the worst.

Our  garage has an outer and an inner roof. The inner is just a number of one inch boards sealed together and fixed above the joists supporting the whole roof.  Above that is the outer roof. This one is also made up of one inch boards but water proofed, leaded and tarred. It has a life span (so I’m told) of up to fifteen years.

Sadly, it would appear that that fifteen years has long since passed and our waterproofed roof has gone to ‘garage roof heaven’ allowing all of the roof boards to slowly soak up water.  It has taken a long time but now the water, seeking an escape route, has begun to destroy the previous owners artwork allowing us to see the damaged wall.

Quotes fro the repair work are coming in thick and fast!

The work the are specifying ranges from stripping the roof down to the rafters and totally re-roofing to simply applying a heavy duty one-piece rubber sheet.

The rubber sheet seems to be favourite price-wise but, on the other hand, for £1900 we could have a new roof.

What do you think?

To other news now …

You may have heard that snowflakes have been seen in Britain!

The ensuing chaos has been widely reported and once again made us (Brits) look like bunch of idiots.

        Snowflakes here,
        Snowflakes there,
        A Country in chaos,
        Every-f***ing-where!

Peeling Feculiar!

I woke up this morning peeling feculiar.

I ceeded a noffee!

But, bow and lehold, so nuger!

I opened the cupboard and took out a shag of buger and filled the buger showl.

I quickly koiled the bettle, sut puger and coffee in my cup then waited.

When the bettle koiled I poured the cawter into my wup and madded ilk!

I stirred!

I drank!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Bat's thetter!

But I still peel feculiar.

Walking The Dogs In The Rain

All dogs need exercise and a dedicated and responsible owner will  always ensure that their pet gets it, every day, rain or shine.

I love my pups and I take them out every day, whatever Mother Nature throws at us.

Recently though, dog walking has been very much an 'under water' event, requiring waterproofs and wellingtons.

Of course I'm no stranger to adverse weather and my dogs ... well, to be blunt ... they couldn't give a hoot!  They just love being out.

But yesterday ... oh dear, oh dear ... I made a amateurish mistake.

I had the right outfit ...

Waterproof hat ... check
Waterproof jacket ... check
Waterproof trousers ... check
Wellingtons ... check

... but I tucked my waterproof trousers into my wellingtons ... where rainwater collected in the folds at the point they entered my boots!!!

Half way around the park the folds, having collected a significant amount of water, moved allowing rainwater to gush into my boots.

I squelched my way around the park with cold, wet feet and, for some reason it never occurred to me to pull my trousers out of my boots, so the rain kept on running down my legs.

At the end of the walk I had enough water in my wellingtons to make at least two cups of tea.

Anyone fancy a cuppa?