Greece, 688 BC

"Diodoros? What are you doing?"

"Eh? Well, I call it 'Hitting A Round Thing Over A Net On The Beach Whilst Wearing Skimpy Knickers'."

"But where's your javelin? It's your turn to throw. We can't let Gorgythion win again this year!"

"Oh c'mon Isodemos.  Javelin is soooooooo boring!"

"What? But Team Argos is depending on you to win Gold!  We can't let let the Heraclean's beat us again! Good Zeus!!! What on earth is Hipparinos doing up that tower?"

"I believe it's going to be a triple somersault, with a twist and pike."

"What the seven Hells has that got to do with the art of War? Anyway, he's supposed to be throwing the discus in a minute."

"Yeah, right.  But he reckoned, you know, just in case he ever get's pushed off, lets say, a seaside cliff by, oh, 300 Spartans or so, then at least he'll fall to his death with a little bit of style."

"Good grief, Diodorus! We are supposed to be competing in a series of skills used in warfare to the honour of Zeus! He's going to send a hale of lightning bolts down on us if he see's what's going on."

"Oh cheer up Isodemos.  Come and have a go at the synchronised swimming. That'll make you feel better."  

"Synchronised ... By the Gods! I'll see you swing for this, Diodorus!"

"Er, no, I don't think so.  The gymnastics doesn't start until tomorrow and I think, if you check the schedule, you'll find that you are down for the bicycle road race at that time."

"What in Hades is a bicycle?"

"I have no idea. All I know is that you can't hide any soldiers in it and leave it outside a besieged city gates."

"Why not?"

"Because someone would steal it!"