I was on a bus again yesterday.
And nothing much happened!
What can I tell ya? It was one of those days!
Oh, there was a smell of feet and cheese, but despite several people saying "What is causing the stink?", no one could locate the source.
It wasn't really a strong smell ... at first ... but it 'travelled', you know what I mean?
Even the driver made a comment about it.
Very few people boarded the bus during our short journey and only three or four got off. But the stink remained.
And I swear to God that it followed us when we got off in Pontypridd!
I began to think it was me. Had my morning shower failed to eliminate BO that I was unaware of?
It all became too much, as yet again the smell followed us into another shop. I could feel a nervous breakdown creeping up behind me as I tried to concoct excuse after excuse for the smell.
Then, on the verge of panic and desperation, I rummaged through my pockets (of which I had very few, as it was fairly warm) on the off chance that someone had dumped a stink bomb in my pocket.
Nothing!
It couldn't be my client, could it?, I thought. No! Surely not.
We left the shop at speed as whisper's grew began to mutate into a chorus of "WTF is that smell?".
Outside I quickly frisked my client.
Well, it wasn't me,so it had to be him!
Tissues (wish I'd used gloves), chewy sweets, a piece of paper with his name on it, and ....
OH MY GOD!!!
As I pulled out the small cellophane bundle that I found in his pocket, the smell noticeably increased.
It was squishy ... it was pliable and incredibly smelly.
It was bluey-green!
It looked and smelled as if it had once been Stilton cheese!
I gagged!
It was leaking!
I found a bin and dumped the offending package.
I used nearly a full bottle of the anti-bacterial hand cleanser that I carry with me (you need it in my job).
That was yesterday!
I have since scrubbed my hands several time and showered. I have used soaps with fragrances that normally would only be found in French houses of ill repute. I even coated my hands with aftershave!
And I can still smell that ... that ... I think I'm gonna be sick ....
We had a mouse unknowingly die deep behind a kitchen cabinet once, for two months the smell made us sick. We looked but could not find the source. About a year later we remodeled the kitchen taking out the cabinet and found the mummified remains.
ReplyDeleteOh! Very nice. Hope you donated the mummy to a museum.
DeleteAnyone who finds a decaying cheese on a traveling companion/client is all right with me, Sym.
ReplyDeleteI take back everything I've ever said about you.
:-)
Have a good weekend, my friend. Going to be in the mid-90s here again. Oh, how I long for a good, hard winter...
Pearl
You can have our summer any time you want!
DeleteI can only dream of complaining about it being too hot!
I'm not familiar with Stilton cheese, but you've described it so well that I'll never try it, or forget it.
ReplyDeleteStilton is rated as one of the smelliest cheese even when it's not in such a state.
DeletePuts the cheese he just removed from the refrigerator back ...
ReplyDeleteSo you should! It's only milk that has gone off!
DeleteJust imagining this trip and you find is making me sick. Yuck.
ReplyDeleteBarf-bag in the post for you.
DeleteIsnt it strange how terrible smells do that? (fish, bad bait,the thing in the green bowl at the back of the fridge) Was the smell so bad it's imprinted on our olfactory systems? ..or is it really there...on us still?
ReplyDeleteIn the same way that smoke can damage your lungs, stinky cheese can damage your nose ... for ever!
Delete