Southern Comfort

Yesterdays outing took me to a Bev's Café in Pontypridd.

I ordered my 'usual' and sat myself at the table by the café's expansive window. As I shuffled myself back and forwards, getting my backside comfortable, a brown leather two-seater sofa floated by the window.

Well, technically it didn't float, it was actually carried by two middle aged men; their faces bright red and betraying their jovial demeanour by quite clearly stating "F*** this is heavy! But I'll be damned if I'm going to ask him if we set it down for a moment".

The bell over the café's door tinkled as I watched the two men and their cargo disappearing down the road and an elderly gentleman entered.

"Ungfff!" he said as he closed the door behind him.

"Ungfff! Ungfff! Ungfff!"

Every step he took was accompanied by an "Ungfff!".

His legs were bowed and bent and he leant heavily on a walking stick.

He ungfff'd his way to the counter and ordered a cup of tea and a full English breakfast, turned, then ungfff'd his way to a table.

He took off his coat but for several minutes he just stood in front of the table.

Ha-ffffffffffft

Ha-ffffffffffft

Ha-ffffffffffft

Ha-ffffffffffft

Ha-ffffffffffft

The strange noise emanating from the old man caused some interest and nearly all of the café's patrons to turn and look.

He then placed a rubber ring onto the chair and ...

"Ungfff!"

... sat down.

There was a squeak followed by a ripple of laughter.

"You've got to look after your piles, isn't it! Got to be having some comfort, see! " he said in a broad valley's accent.

Just then the afore mentioned sofa drifted back in the direction from whence it had previously come.
Raised voices could be heard as the two red faced men, now obviously struggling, plodded past.

"The wrong shop!" said one. "The wrong bloody charity shop! D'you know how far we've carried this damned thing?"

"All right! All right! Don't go on about it, man! We just have to ..."

Their voices trailed off as they rounded the corner.