Waiting for Christmas

It is now officially "Christmas" because most, well some of us at least, have already started their Christmas holidays.  I finish work for two days at 7.30 am on the 25th on the and face the daunting uphill battle, as we all do, to get this place ship shape for the arrival of our guests.  We have a tree (imitation, of course ... no screams) but we are opting out of all the tinsel and paper chains that always leave so much mess on the floor ... that's what Clover and the cats are for now.

We have our smattering of Christmas cards lined up on every bit of furniture with a flat surface and we have Sky + so basically, that's all we are doing (the Sky + isn't exactly a festive decoration, but it does let me see all the football I want to see).

No doubt other households around the UK are also spartanly decorated ... that's what always happens when the "kids" become young "adults" and discover the delights of opposite sex and alcohol, and get their driving licence.  It's a shame they have to grow up really ... they should just move out before they reach their teens!

Anyway, Christmas;  "Humbug", "Figgy pudding", "Ho-ho-ho" and all that!  It isn't as exciting as it was when we were little, is it!  It's hard work!  And it doesn't matter how hard you try, someone will ALWAYS find something to moan about:  "This gravy is a bit thin, isn't it!",  "Couldn't you afford proper mince pies?", "Call this a turkey? Our budgie's bigger than this!".

Then there is always the unexpected visitor for lunch, the uncle who you only see at Christmas when he comes to collect his presents, or the aunt who can't stop herself from squeezing out an SBD* every few minutes and blaming someone else.  Has anyone ever had a perfect Christmas? 

We've left those perfect days long behind us, I'm afraid.  The days of the "Singing, ringing Tree" on TV at Christmas are long gone and have been replaced by classics such as "Top Gear Christmas Specials", the never ending saga of the "Great Escape", and "Noel's Christmas ....  (or whatever they're going to call it this year) ... Show"

At the end of the day, whether you like Christmas or loath it, we are still going to go through the motions of having a good time, even though the turkey burns to a cinder, your presents are all naff and someone throws up on your new rug.  And next year we'll all be saying "D'you remember last year when ...." as if last year was something special and magic.

It's going to be a long, hard Christmas day ... I've got the 'outlaws' coming around!

Merry Christmas and Hum-bloody-bug to you all  (with knobs on)






*   Silent But Deadly farts

The Final Straw

You may have noticed that I haven't been around much lately.

That, dear friends, is because my internet connection is still playing silly buggers.

At this very moment ... indeed as I type ... my internet connection has gone 'walk about'.

If all goes well, in about two minutes it will be back and I will be able to post this.

I make no bones about laying the blame firmly with SKY, of whom I will shortly be an EX customer.

Their TV and Movie package is no better than that provided via Free View and their prices, for what you actually get, are extortionate. BT Vision, for a similar package, works out to be far cheaper.

So, I will be changing provider ... maybe not BT ... but I will be shopping around looking for the best deal.

My posts may be sporadic for a while, but I will be back.

Stop groaning! You know you like me really!

  

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

I leapt into my cool 'lets get down to blogging' slippers, flung myself onto the sofa ... narrowly avoiding a rather bemused pussy cat ... and flipped open the lid of my laptop, or Lappy, as I like to call her.

She obligingly Window-chimed into life and I directed my mouse cursor towards the Chrome icon and clicked.

Chrome opened.

I clicked open, or at least I attempted to click open, my blog!

'Wey  man, lass!' I said in my best Geordie accent. 'Wots aal this hinney?'

I was confronted with a window that declared in rather large letters that my Sky internet connection was unavailable ... AGAIN!

I was advised to try again in a few minutes.

That was at 8pm!

It'snow 11.30pm!

Could it be that Sky operates in a different reality that ticks along at a rather slower pace than mine?

Nope!  I think they are just pissing me about!

I am seriously going to have to find another provider, as Sky is really getting to be a pain!

Anyhow,  it's bed time for  this old man, so please don't go away!

I WILL sort this out!