Brown Trouser Time As Cyndi Lauper Serenades

Everything was frosty white.

Tree's glistened, as did the road, with the frost of a minus ten degree Tuesday morning.

It was 07.30 and I was on the A48 on my way from Roath, Cardiff towards Barry and my first call.

As I drove Cyndi Lauper was keeping me company with her version of 'I Drove All Night'. I knew all the words so I croaked along with her in perfect harmony ... I think.

Little did I know that within minutes I would be almost killed!

Just before a junction, the driver in front of me slowed down to a crawl after he lost the back end of his car on a patch of black ice, so I slowed down in anticipation of the same thing happening to me.

As I entered the junction I got the shock of my life as I watched a large flat-bed truck with a JCB digger on the back begin to slide into the junction towards me.

It was a close thing!

My wheels began to spin as I tried to accelerate out of his way, so I tried to brake, but slid further into the crossing.

Luckily the truck came to a halt two or three yards from my vehicle and I carried over the junction and escaped without anything worse than a sudden cold sweat and an urgent need for clean underwear.

I stopped at the kerb and got out.

Some of my best expletives were fired off towards the truck driver and, I must confess, I expressed a number of thoughts regarding abilities and as to how his future should look.

I really wanted to kill the man .... until he climbed out of his cab.

He must have been 6' 6" tall if he was an inch and built like the proverbial brick shit-house .... I'm 5' 7" in shoes and built more like a sponge pudding.

Hastily changing tack, I ascertained that he was OK then cleared off.

I may be built like a pudding, but I'm a good-looking pudding and wanted to stay that way!

The rest of my day was uneventful but, in my mind, I kept returning to one thought ... what would have happened if the truck hadn't stopped?