If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence of your attempt.
When all else fails, read the directions.
He who laughs last probably doesn't understand the joke.
Never hit a guy with glasses. Always use your fists.
Happiness can't buy money.
True friends always stab you in the chest.
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids and a mortgage.
Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to blame.
Conscience: What hurts when everything else feels so good.
Help stamp out, eliminate and abolish redundancy!
You're schizophrenic? Gee, that makes four of us.
Why is the word 'Abbreviation' so long?
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A day without sunshine is like ... night.
Floggings will continue until morale improves.
It's not an optical illusion, it just looks like one.
An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
Dyslexics of the world untie!
Honesty is the best policy. But insanity is a better defence.
I never repeat myself! I've told you before!.
Forgive your enemies, but remember their names.
Duly noted. Merry Christmas, George!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot one: "Y is a crooked letter because you can't straighten it".
ReplyDelete