Unusually Cruel Literature Re-visited

Another space-filler due to lack of time, I'm afraid. This one originally burned a hole in my thoughts over two years ago, but never appeared here until September 2010.  You may remember it.  If you haven't yet come across it, then I hope you enjoy it. 

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible, I assure you.  

After rising this morning like a rather small, and less bright sun I realised, as I performed my pandiculation, that although I could (as indeed all men could) be accused of colposinquanonia and ximelolagnia, that I am not a bad person at heart.

Being adept in the art of adoxography and also a self confessed autolatrist, I am prone to producing the occaisional article which, to many, may seem somewhat borborygmus-like and from time to time include charientism's which could cause offence.

To those offended by my offerings, I can assure you they are merely witzelsucht and not intended to upset anyone ... not even the steatopygic and abecedarian amongst you ... and I would like to offer my sincere apologies.

Get those dictionaries open.

For those of you without dictionaries

Pandiculation: The act of stretching and yawning.

Colposinquanonia: Estimating a woman’s beauty based on her chest.

Ximelolagnia: the urge to stare at women who are sitting with crossed legs.

Adoxography: fine writing on trivial or base subject.

Autolatrist: someone who worships him/herself'

Borborygmus: Bowel sounds, the gurgling, rumbling, or growling noise from the abdomen.

Charientism: A figure of speech wherein a taunting expression is softened by a jest; an insult veiled in                grace.

Witzelsucht: A tendency to pun, make poor jokes, and tell pointless stories, while being oneself inordinately entertained thereby.

Steatopygic: Having an extreme accumulation of fat on the buttocks.

Abecedarian: a person who is learning the alphabet or the rudiments of a subject.