Over the past God-knows-how-many years, I have rarely, if ever, been the object of a mosquito's passion for blood.
Now, I realise that blood is a necessary ingredient for the mosquito's reproductive recipe and I do realise that they need to feed but, God Damn It!!!
Twenty Two F&*king times?
I mean, really ... was it abso-bloody-lutely necessary to puncture me TWENTY TWO F&*KING TIMES?
My chest, stomach and back look like I've been romping (if you get my drift) with a porcupine!
But that's not all ... no ... one of the b@st@rds bit me in the belly button (that's The navel (clinically known as the umbilicus) to you educated folks out there).
Did it end there?
No, no, no, no!
This morning I awoke to find that one of the more adventurous of the little buggers had decided that the 'buffet' was insufficient and went to the banquet instead.
Yes, one of 'em bit me on the ....
Well, let me put it this way ... it was probably the BIGGEST meal that mosquito was ever gonna get!
you're going to look like a regular pervert scratching and rubbing yourself to ease the itch all day.
ReplyDeleteOh, I do that anyway! Gotta let folks know where the quality is!
DeleteI hope they bite me there. I could always do with swelling.
ReplyDeleteYou'll regret hoping for that if it actually happens.
DeleteAs we say down here in OZ when you've been bitten that many times by a mozzie is that you must have royal blood.
ReplyDeleteWith so many bites I should be king by now!
DeleteI have to ask this,did you pass out nekkid somewhere??? I mean I get one or two. I also kinda get belly button. BUT your ???? How in Heck? Please fill in some blanks :)
ReplyDeleteWell ... I sleep in my birthday suit. When it gets too warm I always end up kicking off the bedclothes, thus exposing my doo-dah, effectively opening, as it were, the 'restaurant'.
DeleteLike Mary said...
ReplyDeleteMozzies are an increasing problem in Australia, as we provide more water spots for critters (dams, sheep troughs, trenches, irrigation, old tyres) they are moving across the land carrying Asian diseases. Where will it end...Oh, we already know that dont we? I recommend Calamine for the doodah!
Aside: In this part of OZ a DooDah is chicken Breast cooked in white wine and finished with a mushroom and bacon sauce.
So I wouldn't upset any woman in Oz by asking them to nibble my Doodah then.
ReplyDelete