Just a bite? Nah! I Was The Damned Buffet

Over the past God-knows-how-many years, I have rarely, if ever, been the object of a mosquito's passion for blood.

Now, I realise that blood is a necessary ingredient for the mosquito's reproductive recipe and I do realise that they need to feed but, God Damn It!!!

Twenty Two F&*king times?

I mean, really ... was it abso-bloody-lutely necessary to puncture me TWENTY TWO F&*KING TIMES?

My chest, stomach and back look like I've been romping (if you get my drift) with a porcupine! 

But that's not all ... no ... one of the b@st@rds bit me in the belly button (that's The navel (clinically known as the umbilicus) to you educated folks out there).

Did it end there?

No, no, no, no!

This morning I awoke to find that one of the more adventurous of the little buggers had decided that the 'buffet' was insufficient and went to the banquet instead.

Yes, one of 'em bit me on the ....

Well, let me put it this way ... it was probably the BIGGEST meal that mosquito was ever gonna get!