About This Blog

This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!

The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.

I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.

Wednesday, 30 June 2010

A Brush with Royalty

I have been idle and have neglected my blog for a day or two now.  My reader (whoever he/she is) must be getting desperate for something to read.

As most of you will be aware, Prince Charles & Camilla were in Cardiff for the Forces Day parade, etc..
Although I didn't attend (I was working), I was reminded about the one and only time that I have met Prince Charles.

If you were to ask him about it, he wouldn't recall it, and I can only remember it because of the huge bollocking I got after he had passed.

It was the summer of '76 which is remembered for the heat, smoke and flames of the woodland fires around southern England and in particular Surrey.

I had finished my basic military training at this point and my trade training was about to begin when the fire brigade called an emergency for the areas around Sandhurst military academy.  All training was postponed and I, along with a couple of hundred other 'brand new' soldiers, were deployed around Sandhurst with shovels.

One thought constantly whizzed all alone through my mind at that time ... you don't see the fire brigade racing towards flames with shovels in their hands, so what the hell do they expect of us?

Well, the answer was easy, as it happens.  They wanted us to shovel one half of Surrey's sandy woodland floor on  top of the other half in order to smother the flames.  Back breaking work which we did for nearly two weeks.  For about three or four days the work around Sandhurst was pretty frantic as we tried to ensure that the officer cadets were not disturbed in any way or allowed to get too hot.  We never saw any of them fighting the fires!

One one of those three days a rather snotty chap in uniform with a Captain's rank came alone on a horse and got very close to where we were working.  There was lots of shouting for him to get the horse away from the flames, which he eventually did, after a hearty "Good show chaps!  Keep it up!"

One of our sergeants uttered a few expletives that some us seventeen year old's still had to learn the meaning of and told us that he thought that the officer on the horse had been Captain Mark Phillips, husband of  Princess Anne.  I was never actually sure if he was correct, but I have disliked Mark Phillips ever since.

Anyway, I digress.  Prince Charles ....

When the 'emergency' was over we were granted a weeks leave before starting our trade training so I packed my bags* and got myself down to the bus stop opposite the main gates of Deepcut Barracks (yes! That infamous place).

It was mid morning, about 10 am, and as I waited for the bus I could hear the clip-clop of horses approaching from my right.  As I looked, I could see three horses coming into view, one after the other.
The first horse and rider passed me without a word.  The second rider, as he came up to where I was standing said "Good morning!"
"Morning" I answered. "Nice horse!"
"Thank you" the rider answered and passed by.

The third rider stopped, and after looking at my army suitcase, proceeded to give me a bollocking for not standing up straight and for not recognising Prince Charles.
He then cantered off to re-join the two in front, leaving me red faced and somewhat embarrassed.

In my defence though, he did have one of those jockey style hats on with the chin strap which messed up his appearance little bit.

That was it!  My one and only meeting with Prince Charles and I didn't even realise it!

*  Army suitcases and kit bags were very easy to recognise with name, rank and number stencilled on them     at that time and the army preferred, and indeed instructed us, not to use civilian luggage when going on leave.  This always worried me as '76 was a time when the IRA was starting to become very active in mainland Britain.  One one hand they were telling us to be ever vigilant but on the other, telling us to advertise who and what we were.  It could have been a cunning ploy of the military, but I doubt it.

Monday, 28 June 2010

England's Lament

England's performance wasn't great,
out of ten I'll give 'em minus eight.
Rooney was lame and Lampard was dull
and of disappointed English fans the stadium was full.
Cappello was doomed by a lack lustre cadre,
who, when all's said and done, should have tried harder.

Sunday, 27 June 2010

Germany 4 England 1

Well there's a surprise then!  Who would have thought England couldn't play football?

I have to be honest and admit that I gave up watching (with any hope of an England victory) after only 13 minutes.  OK, they had possession for a little while but the writing was on the wall when they only played passes across the back four.  Every pass that they dared to play out of their own half either went astray or was in actual fact a punt in the desperate hope that someone would catch it and belt it into the net.

Let's analyse the defence, shall we ...

... oh no, sorry!  I forgot ... we didn't really have one, did we?

Mid-field was, as in the other games, crowded.  It seemed very much as if the English were afraid of the flanks and they huddled in the centre of the pitch searching for a bit of comfort or at the very least some sort of chaos that would give each of them an excuse that it would be "someone else's" fault should the Germans manage to score (which they did, obviously).

John Terry (experienced man?), Glenn Johnson (Over rated) and Gareth Barry were out of position on each of Germany's goals and were all guilty of some dreadful passing throughout the game.

Gerrard  and Lampard were again predictable (Gerrard coming into mid-field from the left and being unable to kick with his left foot, Lampard with poor control and passing [one good free kick though])

Dafoe and Rooney didn't seem to be playing in the same game!  For all their running and ranting (Rooney) they didn't get into any scoring situations.

Milner and Johnson (again) were dreadful as far as crossing the ball was concerned.

At the end of the day our players were not up to it.  They are all good individual players (to a point) but I reckon that they only appear to be as good as they seem due the the quality of the foreign players that surround them in their premiership clubs.

I think next time it might be better to pick an entirely English team out of the lower divisions; a team that plays together week in, week out, and make them OUR National Team!

Let's face it ... they couldn't do any worse than the over paid Prima Donna's we sent to the finals this time around, would they!

And in case anyone would like to know ... I bet on Germany to win and also have Germany as 'my team' in the "Other Place's" sweepstake!  So I wasn't at all upset by the result!

Eat my shorts Mr. Cappello!

Saturday, 26 June 2010

The Contents (so far)

I'm getting there,  slowly but surely

  1. The Bridge and me
  2. In Memory of Kaiya
  3. For Alice
  4. Waiting at the Bridge
  5. Those Who Fell
  6. Seven Days
  7. For Merlin
  8. For Cherry
  9. More than 'just a dog'
  10. God Speed
  11. In The Park
  12. Christmas Day
  13. Frosty
  14. Angel
  15. Dear Santa
  16. Christmas
  17. Kitty in my Garden
  18. Threat
  19. Fart
  20. Bleedin' kid
  21. Another man’s life
  22. Late Letter to Santa
  23. The Langaroo
  24. Jimmy & Ginny
  25. A Good Night Out
  26. We Will Train You
  27. Wednesday 28.4.10 ... Kamikaze attack in Hailey Park, Whitchurch, Cardiff
  28. Million to one chance
  29. Dear Mum (1),
  30. Dear Mum (2)
  31. Dear Mum (3)
  32. Dear Son (1)
  33. Dear Son (2)
When I have enough maybe someone will be stupid enough to publish them for me.

You never know!

Thursday, 24 June 2010

God Speed

God speed to those who lose the fight,
and start their journey into light.
God bless those that have now found peace,
for now their pain will finally cease.
Gods grace to those who have crossed the divide,
for they start a new life on the other side.

Run free Suzie

Tuesday, 22 June 2010

Not my day!

Well, it started well enough I have to say.

It started with a run up to Barry to pick up a client and take him into Cardiff to his place of work.  We had a coffee in Cafe 1 in Albany Rd.,then I dropped him off at the shop he works in and left.

As I walked around the corner and up the side street in which I'd parked the car I could hear seagulls shrieking above me; on the pavement in front of me was the devastation left by the gulls ripping to bits the rubbish bags and scattering the contents.

It was actually as I negotiated the debris that the little b******s started, still shrieking, to swoop low over the cars and empty their bowels!

For the first time in my life (and I was born in a seaside town many years ago) I was targeted, and indeed hit, in a deliberate seagull attack!  Smack on the forehead!!!  Seagull poo is slimy and stinky!!!

Don't laugh ya bug'rs!

Now if that wasn't bad enough (it was bad, believe me!) then what was to come was even worse ... and will be costly!

My car started to misfire and began to make a lot of put-put noises.
"Ok" I thought to myself, not knowing much about cars. "Clean up the plugs when I get home n it'll be find".  I managed a further mile, maybe two, before the engine warning light started to flash like crazy.
The clear and simple message in my car's handbook was ... get to the workshop as soon as possible.

So that is where I managed to limp my car to.

After about a 30-40 minute wait there was some good news and some bad news for me.

First the good

  • They changed the plugs for me on warantee
Now the bad
  • There  may be some damage to the catalytic converter and a an oil leek in a very difficult place to access.
My car (the poor little thing) is sitting on the driveway shaking in it's tyre's 'cos it he has to go back to the "doctor" tomorrow for a more thorough check-up. 

When I asked what the estimated cost of all this would be (Catalytic converter, stripping the engine looking for an oil leek), the answer was a pursing of the lips, a puffing of the cheeks, a look down the nose and a very long drawn out "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuffff!  It'll cost a pretty big wad will that!"

Totally deflated and thoroughly miserable, I drove home, hoping that when they do the pricing properly tomorrow that I won't have to sell the kid's into slavery in order to pay for the work.

And my bloody lotto numbers still haven't come up!!!

Sunday, 20 June 2010

The old ones are the best

Three hard of hearing old men were out taking a walk.

One said "Windy, ain't it?"

The second  bloke answered, "No! It's Thursday."

And the third man piped up "Me too! Let's go to the pub."

Saturday, 19 June 2010

England 0 Algeria 0

Although I was only seven at the time, I can still recall the celebrations and street parties after England won the World  Cup in 1966.  It's all a long time ago and over the years my memory has probably played tricks on me by making me remember everything bigger and better than it actually was, but the Charlton's (Bobby and Jack) were, in effect, my next door neighbours.   They were local boys who'd made it big and we followed every kick of the ball in the hope that they would win the cup for us.
Of course the medium of the day (for us) was radio and at times we would have a dozen people in our front room, all willing the team to victory.

Last night's game however ... England's second and supposedly easiest game ... was absolutely terrible and lacked any sense of pride for the Three Lions that the team of '66 displayed. Algeria at times played out of their skins, even though the had very few real efforts at goal, but England should never have got out of bed that morning if that was all they could come up with.

On the positive side though, England did ...
  • find the right stadium
  • wear the right strip
  • find someone to tie their boot laces for them
  • have a goalkeeper without holes in his hands
Let's just hope that they continue to get those right in training before the next game, which they have to win.

On darker side, they ....
  • couldn't hold the ball 
  • couldn't pass the ball
  • passed the ball back to the keeper over 30 times (twice almost gifting the ball to Algeria)
  • lacked imagination (got that one from Adrian Chiles .... God! He's so miserable)
  • had players (again) playing out of position (Gerrard, to accommodate Lampard [who was terrible])
  • had Wayne Rooney looking like he couldn't give a damn (in the second half anyway)
There were soooooooooooooo many more negatives highlighted by last nights game and, sad to say, there was nothing positive that would give any true England fan hope.

This morning the Welsh and the Scots will be gloating (and rightly so) over England's dire performance, but at least England qualified and got a free holiday.

This my 'Last Word'  about England ...

... have you noticed that Emile Heskey looks just like a young Bill Cosby?

Thursday, 17 June 2010

The costs of having a dog

Averages based on a healthy dog living for 12 years. 

In putting together this little list I have taken a cross section of costs and factors from various sources.
My list is based on the average family dog (Border Collies, Labrador's, etc.) and does not take into account the ankle-biting or horse impersonating breeds. It also does not include boarding or kennel fee's, which after all, are for your benefit and not the dog's.  Extra's, such as coats and harnesses, grooming or grooming equipment, etc., are not included.

                      Monthly Yearly  Lifetime
Purchase       £0-£1000
Food                                  £35.00         £420.00      £5,040.00
Insurance(1)                      £22.00         £264.00      £3,168.00
Leads(2)                           £15.00            ---                 £60.00
bedding(3)                         £60.00         £120.00         £120.00
Vet Bills(4)                         £75.00            ---               £900.00
Toys(5)                             £20.00            ---                £240.00
Treats                                  £5.00          £60.00         £720.00
                                                                      Total £10,248.00 
                                     (plus purchase price which may vary greatly)

1 Insureance based on the price of a non-pedigree dog.
2 Collar/Leads based on four sets over a lifetime.
3 Beds/Bedding based on two beds with bedding (not including new coverings) over a lifetime.
4 Vet Bills based on innoculations only (does not include injury or flea/mite treatments).
5 This assumes that the dog does not tear it's toys to pieces.

Wednesday, 16 June 2010


Pisceans, apparently, do not get along with each other.

This was imparted to me today by a gentleman who claims to be a child of the afore mentioned star sign.
Alas, just as I was about to agree whole heartedly with him, he negated his own words by informing that his wife of 57 years was also born under the sign of the fish.

However, he did say that a good argument approximately once a month clears the air somewhat and helps to create moments of artificial harmony for the times when they would have preferred to just rip each others heads off.

The reason for this dribble, is simple .... I am one of those lucky artistic and imaginative people with that undeniable 'Joie de vivre' that was born under the sign of Pisces.  

Unfortunately for me, so is my 19 year old step-daughter!

Teenagers are bad enough at the best of times, but to have one in the house with the same star sign as me is very unnerving!  

Mind you ... it certainly explains why I always have the urge to stuff her head down the toilet and flush!

Friday, 11 June 2010

"The other place"

"The other place", to which I have occasionally referred and where I previously had posted my offerings,
seems to have some unhappy members.

I saw, albeit briefly, an article in the Random Musings thread complaining (I think ... it really was brief) about the harassment by a moderator of a user who left.  The article was, unfairly in my view, spirited away by an over sensitive moderator, never to see the light of day again.

This is only interesting to me as I was the user who was referred to as having been 'harassed'.

So, if I could refer you to the following article which caused 'the trouble'
you will be able to make your mind up as to whether I deserved to have been 'harassed'!

I must point out though that I did not, and do not, feel that I was in anyway harassed by the 'moderator' involved. Had I done so, I would have dealt with the situation in a totally different manner and I would not just have left the forum.

All I had to put up with was the narrow-minded views of the moderator in question who, it would seem, has believed everything she has read on the subject and does not seemed to have attempted to validate or research it by at least looking at the evidence that the "other side" had to offer. 

Anyway, that is all behind me now.  I don't have to deal with that person any more anyway, and even if I did, I have no grounds to pick a fight.

Having said all that, I have noticed that one or two of "the other place's" staunchest supporters have also left the forum.  

This begs the question ... Is all well in Paradise?

I certainly hope so because at the end of the day, it's not about self-importance!  It's all about rescuing animals in need!

Thursday, 10 June 2010

We Will Train You

(To the music of Queen's 'We Will Rock You, originally posted on 13 June 2009)

Taffy was a pup with a big yap
Playin' in the yard gonna be a big dog some day
He gets food in his face
leaves a big disgrace
we're pickin' up poo all over the place.

We will we will train you


We will we will train you 

Taffy you're a grown dog hard dog
Barkin' in the street gonna take on the Rotty one day
You'll get his leg in yo' face
Leave a big disgrace
Waggin' your tail all over the place

We will we will train you


We will we will train you 

Taffy you're an old dog poor dog
Pleadin' with your eyes gonna cross that bridge some day
You got grey in your face
You aint no disgrace
Somebody's gonna miss you when you go to that place.

We will we will train you


We will we will train you 

Parker And Gail McIntyre

Am  I the only one that see's the similarity between Gail McIntre and Parker (Lady Penelope's chauffeur in Thunderbirds)?

Every time I watch Corrie and she appears, I expect her to get into a six-wheeled pink Rolls Royce and drive off.

Am I showing my age now?

The similarity is there ... tell me I'm not mad!

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

In Exile

(To the 'Few', outraged by the 'many')

Don't worry 'bout what they think,
don't worry 'bout what they say.
Now that you are in exile,
you'll have a brighter day!

Don't let 'em wind you up,
don't let 'em step on yer toes.
Stand your ground and speak your mind,
then punch 'em hard on the nose.

It's better to fight your corner from within,
although it might appear to be in vane.
But all the time remember your foe-man may be nuts,
and you are the only one sane!

Pull up an island and rest your bones,
cos your'e in exile now.
But you may possibly find your way back,
some day, some way, some how.

Saturday, 5 June 2010

Saturday Evening

Yes... I know tonight is the final of Britain's Got Talent but I took the dog's for an evening walk instead of watching.  I'm sorry, but there is only so much 'entertainment' of that sort that I can take.
Without doubt there will be some real talent on the show tonight but there will also be the 'three dunderheads' ... Simon, Amanda and Piers.

I'm not, and never will be, a fan of any of the judges!  Amanda has nearly every time sat on the fence when someone had to be voted off, Piers wouldn't recognise real talent if it slapped him in the face and Simon's eye's have permanent $ signs in them.

Whoever wins, will have earned it, but they will have to do without me watching them do it.  I'm afraid the three judges, along with an unhealthy overdose of Ant & Dec, is just too much for me.

Give me my dogs and a nice riverbank any day!

Thursday, 3 June 2010

The Rainbow Bridge

Most of my poems, in case you haven't already guessed, are dog related and were written in memory
of dogs that have crossed over the See full size imagebridge.

Dogs are more than 'just dogs' to most dog owners.  They become an integral part of the family, so
when their time comes to depart, it can be as traumatic and upsetting as when a close relative passes.

The "Rainbow Bridge" is crossed by pets when it is their time to 'leave' and they enter a new world of green
meadows and rolling hills where they find lots of friends to play with.  The sun always shines, there is and abundance of food and drink and their health and vigour is restored.

This is the place where, one day, you and your best friend will be reunited.

More than 'just a dog'

There is no beginning,
there is no end,
my love is yours forever,
my little doggy friend.

There are no strings,
there are no rules.
And to those who think you are 'just a dog',
I say to them, they are fools!

They don't know,
and they can't comprehend,
how a 'just a dog'
can become more than a friend.

I tell you my worries,
I share with you my woes,
and you calm my fears,
with a lick on the nose.

You are always there,
you are always near,
and with you by my side,
there is nothing to fear.

More than 'just a dog',
that is patently clear.
You are my confidant,
and I hold you so dear!

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

For Cherry

See full size image

Ah, my friend,
this is not the end,
although my heart is breaking.
For now you are free,
and there is so much to see,
in the brand new life that is waiting.

Ah, dear friend
this is not the end,
although my tears are falling.
Cross over the bridge,
and run up to the ridge,
to where your new friends are calling.

Ah, sweetheart,
this is only the start,
so go with my love and good cheer.
You'll live on in my heart,
as though we didn't part,
and in truth you will always be near.
See full size image