Memory And Kitchen Failings

And so another short holiday comes to an end.

Well, when I say 'Holiday' I do, of course, only mean a week off work.

Embarrassingly, I actually managed to forget that I had last week off at all.  I mean, I could have planned something ... or maybe not. Not with the sick puppy.

Anyway, it rained!

For nearly the whole damned week!

Change of subject now.

Let me tell you about my pie and cake.  Yes!  I can make  pies and cakes. I can also cook some pretty cool meals, if ever you are passing and in need of sustenance.

The pie was an apple and blueberry extravaganza.  Flaky crust and packed with sweet apples and plump, juicy blueberries.

It's a shame that I forgot the blueberries when I went shopping! So it turned into a simple apple and cinnamon pie.

Or would have, if I'd had any cinnamon.

It had apples in it. I swear!

Despite not being what was planned, it was very, very tasty.

And yesterday ... Sunday ... I made a mandarin cheese cake  ... without mandarins, which ... yes, you've guessed it ... I forgot to buy.

So it was quickly adapted to become a lemon cheese cake.

It also tasted really good.

Although it was only a cheese cake because I'd forgotten to put the lemon juice in!

Now, I know what you are thinking. He's getting on in years and his memory is going.

It get's worse.

Well, it would probably be worse, if only I could remember all those things that I remembered forgetting before I forgot them.

My name?  Of course I remember my name!

It's ... er ... begins with a G ... tip of my tongue ... er ...

My Biggest Asset & Biggest Hate

Driving through Cardiff today could best be described as a rather slow and painful bowel movement.

At one of those annoying little snag-points ... old people just can't  find the accelerator when the light turns green ... I got to thinking ... what do I hate most?

Is it all those face-painting babe's that always ... ALWAYS ... do their make-up at traffic lights?  NO!

Is it old age pensioners that drive as though every day was a Sunday and the church doesn't open for another hour or two?  NO!

Is it the fact that my company expects me to be in two places at once that are 20 miles apart? NO!

Is it ... oh, bollocks to the list ... what I hate most ... don't laugh ... is my stomach!

Yes, it's grown to proportions that have put Green Peace on alert (in case I need to be dragged back into the see) and has almost taken on a personality of it's own.  I saw it wobble ... several times!

Normally my appearance is of little importance to me as I've always just assumed that I look good and that was always enough for me.

Last week however, I viewed a photograph of myself at a local fair and ... the very thought of that photograph makes me cringe ... it looked like I was at least 7 months pregnant.

I thought I told you folks not to laugh!!!

My exercise days are long behind me and the time when I could run 15 miles with full kit and a rifle are in my very distant past.

As there is no way that I'm going to start pounding the streets or hop on a treadmill again, I find myself left with only one option ... a diet.

I think 5 to 8 kilos would be nice ...

... 2 to 3 more realistic.

Let me just finish this bar ... very large bar ... of chocolate and then I'll start ... just after a slice or two of chocolate cake.