A Thought Clearing Exercise To End The Year.

In the past, after posting an article of which I was especially proud of, a wave of satisfaction would wash over me like a mini tsunami and I would allow myself the (brief) privilege of a being thrilled at the thought of someone actually reading and enjoying it.

But the bloggi-verse (I refuse to use the word 'blogosphere' because I didn't think of it first) seems to swallow my words just as fast as I can type them and, although they're still out there (somewhere), they are pretty much ignored.  There is a modicum of interest in my blog and it seems to have drawn in a small following, for which I am grateful, but they (my words) have failed to ignite the fires that would put me on the 'Bloggers Map', as it were.

I would have liked the response of my peers to have been somewhat better, but at the end of the day I write for myself ... as a mind clearing exercise ... and not purely for the entertainment of others so it isn't so bad.

Those bloggers (and friends) that follow my blog seem to be intelligent folks which pleases me greatly as I would hate to be read only by people who have to remove their bra's or socks in order to count to two!

So, a big thank you to the valiant few brave souls who follow my dribble.

As I will be working from 2.30 pm until midday on the 1st, I would like to wish everyone a

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Damn!

I won't be back for a whole year!!!

Age Or Geography

Here's an 'oldie' for you to get you through the day until my next brainwave

When do ´boobs´ become a ´ bosom´?

This question was touched upon be Terry Pratchett in "Monstrous Regiment", but I don't think he ever reached a satisfactory conclusion ... If he did, then I must have missed it.

Although technically and by definition, a bosom is always present, the term 'bosom' is never used by the younger generations. Have you ever heard some young bloke say "Look at the bosom on her!" or any girls saying "My bosom is bigger that hers!"?

No!

So when does a bosom become a bosom?

My own thoughts on this subject, as a connoisseur, are that it very much depends on the boobs/bosom in question and the method of support they receive, or not, as the case may be.
The 'bosom' could be effectively fought off for many years with the correct fitting bra, as Gok Wan has pointed out on many occasion's, but as he has said, only 1 in 10 women are correctly fitted for bra's..

As they get older most woman of brobdingnagian* proportions will suffer from the breast version of Tectonic drift, so the question of when boobs become a bosom could, I suppose, be answered by measuring the distance between nipple and belt buckle ... this would certainly explain why so many older women these days are wearing hipsters!

However, it may not be a simple case of geography that defines a bosom. It may only be a 'mind' thing where the mind-set changes your attitudes and opinions at a certain age or condition.

I am not in the least bit prejudiced against gravitationally challenged women, indeed men (I am one) could be described as "gravitationally disadvantaged campanologists" in later years as it is a well known fact that their 'bells' hang lower than their 'rope' with age.

No! What I would like to know is how do women know when it's time to change their terminology?

This is a tricky one to answer as there are bound to be a multitude of different views and opinions, but it might get you thinking about when and how we all change with age.

Here is a nice thought to finish with:-

People quite often say that they sound like their parents. If that is true, one day they will sound like their grandparents too!



*     look it up

There Is A 'Down Side' To Everything!

It doesn't matter what chaos ensues when the winter snows come; it doesn't matter how many people are inconvenienced or endangered by the conditions; it doesn't matter how cold it may get ...

... snow-scape's really are very beautiful scenes to witness.

A thick blanket of snow covering the trees and fields, roads and pavements, gardens and parks ... it really is a wonderful sight to behold.

But there is a down side.

Oh, it won't be noticed so much, if at all, by the majority of people.

Dog owners though are going to notice it a big way ... as I have just done.

The thaw has come to Cardiff and the snow, which once was so beautiful ... was once so dangerous ... has receded.

The 30 centimetre snow blanket that once covered our garden has now become a thin three-coloured patchwork of white, green and brown.

We have a garden measuring approximately 19 metres by 9 meters. It isn't what you might call huge, but it's big enough for us and our three dogs.

Yes, I did say 'brown'. Have another look, just a couple of lines back, if you aren't sure.

You see the 'down side' of snow for a dog owner is the mountain of doggy doo-doo that appears as if by magic on the remains of your winter ravaged lawn.

I discovered our 'down side' this morning as I decided (the wife told me to) scoop the doo-doo.

It took forty-five ( 45 ) minutes to complete and resulted in two ( 2 ) bags full of the dreaded ... well, you know what it is by now.  I won't rub your noses in it.

My back now hurts from all that scooping.

I though I'd been doing a fairly good job keeping the garden clear of the stuff; scooping regularly; but it seems I was out-foxed by the pesky pups.  They did a fine job of hiding their waste or at least timing the bulk of it to coincide with the heavy snow fall!

Who would have thought that three ( 3 ) doggy 'ani'* could produce such an amount of the stuff.

To ensure there is no repetition of this monumental load of stuff to be scooped, I am contemplating corking their little arse's.

But if anyone out there knows of a dog trainer that has had success in teaching dogs to use a loo, let me have his/her number ... puh-leeeeeeeeeeeez let me have the number!



* Probably isn't, but it would be nice if 'ani' was the plural of 'anus'.  Nice and catchy, don't you think?.