Times are hard!
Money is always a problem, then there's work, house maintenance, etc., etc..
The list is endless.
And then there's the 22 year old step daughter that insists an acting like a petulant 6 year old ALL THE TIME!
You have to wonder where you went wrong ... and if you are the only ones that suffers this way.
It's sad that a divide has opened up between the family generations and it is also so very annoying!
From the small things ... leaving empty milk or margarine cartons in the fridge ... to the bigger things ... staying out for days at a time without telling anyone where she is ... it is causing a massive amount of tension in the family home.
There is no obvious solution when the person you are at odds with just doesn't give a shit!
We just have to say 'hello' to be barked at. Each and every conversation is perceived as a vicious attack on our part ... and the best form of defence in her book is attack! Which she does at the drop off a hat.
If you ask what the problem is, it's us ... always banging on about something or other. But, even in the same house, we never see her to say anything anyway.
She won't get out of bed before 3pm, she bakes and cooks in the middle of the night (sometimes forgetting half way through what's she doing) and cannot do ANYTHING quietly, even when she know we both have to up for work at 6am!
Now, the solution might seem obvious to others, but not to us.
I've tried buying a gun, but they wouldn't let me have one!
And short of burying her head first in a deep hole in the garden, I don't know what else we can try ... Except chucking her out!
OK!
That was a mild mannered rant. Rest assured the real nasty rant isn't far off!
{Thinks: perhaps we could move out while she's at work?}
At twenty-two years of age your daughter is an adult. She's unlikely to change unless you make change a priority. Not long ago our 32 year old son decided he wanted to move home for the third time. My wife and I had a big fight over this but I held my ground and said no, enough is enough. It doesn't help that Mrs. C. treats him like a little boy and waits on him hand and foot when he'd here.
ReplyDeleteHe didn't talk to us for a few weeks when this happened but he ended up renting an apartment and moving out. Today our relationship is better than ever. I hope a workable solution presents itself for you.
If you find a workable solution whereby everyone is happy then you will be the first man who did..and the book you write about it will surely make you rich.. But alas it's not like that in real life is it.
ReplyDeleteIm tempted to agree that she needs 'tough love' and be shown the door but if that isnt agreeable to both you and the wife then harmony will not ensue.
Having had three daughters I couldn't see any answers while in the middle of it all either but us they left they were not welcomed back for anything but short visits between houses etc and we all get along much better for it.
22 is the new 13....
Hari OM
ReplyDeleteYikes...it's hard enough in full-blooded families (if I may use the term), but when a joined unit, the parts each have to make the work towards the whole. Clearly your gal has decided against this, for the time being at least. Also, one has to wonder what preceded the foul behaviour; is this her way of shouting for help?
As a counsellor I cannot help but say the lines I am sure you have possibly already heard - there is help out there; as a blog-pal - geeezzz I can only feel for the frustration you are surely enduring. As both those 'caps' - stay true to you because your consistency will be the safe harbour...
Kids. 'S why I avoided 'em. YAM xx
Perhaps she's pushing the boundaries in the hope of causing hassle? Provide her with a united front n rules of the house (eg. No baking after 9pm). You n your good wife will work out a solution, failing that you can move into the cupboard under our stairs ;-)
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