I Think I'm Gonna Be .... URRGGGAHHH ... Sick!

I was on a bus again yesterday.

And nothing much happened!

What can I tell ya? It was one of those days!

Oh, there was a smell of feet and cheese, but despite several people saying "What is causing the stink?", no one could locate the source.

It wasn't really a strong smell ... at first ... but it 'travelled', you know what I mean?

Even the driver made a comment about it.

Very few people boarded the bus during our short journey and only three or four got off.  But the stink remained.

And I swear to God that it followed us when we got off in Pontypridd!

I began to think it was me.  Had my morning shower failed to eliminate BO that I was unaware of?

It all became too much, as yet again the smell followed us into another shop. I could feel a nervous breakdown creeping up behind me as I tried to concoct excuse after excuse for the smell.

Then, on the verge of panic and desperation, I rummaged through my pockets (of which I had very few, as it was fairly warm) on the off chance that someone had dumped a stink bomb in my pocket.

Nothing!

It couldn't be my client, could it?, I thought. No! Surely not.

We left the shop at speed as whisper's grew began to mutate into a chorus of "WTF is that smell?".

Outside I quickly frisked my client.

Well, it wasn't me,so it had to be him!

Tissues (wish I'd used gloves), chewy sweets, a piece of paper with his name on it, and ....

OH MY GOD!!!

As I pulled out the small cellophane bundle that I found in his pocket, the smell noticeably increased.

It was squishy ... it was pliable and incredibly smelly.

It was bluey-green!

It looked and smelled as if it had once been Stilton cheese!

I gagged!

It was leaking!

I found a bin and dumped the offending package.

I used nearly a full bottle of the anti-bacterial hand cleanser that I carry with me (you need it in my job).

That was yesterday!

I have since scrubbed my hands several time and showered. I have used soaps with fragrances that normally would only be found in French houses of ill repute. I even coated my hands with aftershave!

And I can still smell that ... that ... I think I'm gonna be sick ....