I was on a bus again yesterday.
And nothing much happened!
What can I tell ya? It was one of those days!
Oh, there was a smell of feet and cheese, but despite several people saying "What is causing the stink?", no one could locate the source.
It wasn't really a strong smell ... at first ... but it 'travelled', you know what I mean?
Even the driver made a comment about it.
Very few people boarded the bus during our short journey and only three or four got off. But the stink remained.
And I swear to God that it followed us when we got off in Pontypridd!
I began to think it was me. Had my morning shower failed to eliminate BO that I was unaware of?
It all became too much, as yet again the smell followed us into another shop. I could feel a nervous breakdown creeping up behind me as I tried to concoct excuse after excuse for the smell.
Then, on the verge of panic and desperation, I rummaged through my pockets (of which I had very few, as it was fairly warm) on the off chance that someone had dumped a stink bomb in my pocket.
It couldn't be my client, could it?, I thought. No! Surely not.
We left the shop at speed as whisper's grew began to mutate into a chorus of "WTF is that smell?".
Outside I quickly frisked my client.
Well, it wasn't me,so it had to be him!
Tissues (wish I'd used gloves), chewy sweets, a piece of paper with his name on it, and ....
OH MY GOD!!!
As I pulled out the small cellophane bundle that I found in his pocket, the smell noticeably increased.
It was squishy ... it was pliable and incredibly smelly.
It was bluey-green!
It looked and smelled as if it had once been Stilton cheese!
It was leaking!
I found a bin and dumped the offending package.
I used nearly a full bottle of the anti-bacterial hand cleanser that I carry with me (you need it in my job).
That was yesterday!
I have since scrubbed my hands several time and showered. I have used soaps with fragrances that normally would only be found in French houses of ill repute. I even coated my hands with aftershave!
And I can still smell that ... that ... I think I'm gonna be sick ....
About This Blog
This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!
The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.
I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.
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