Thingy

Sometimes your mind just goes ... thingy ... whatd'yam'callit ... blank.

Sometimes you just don't give a ...

I had a phase ... long working hours (bout 70 hours a week), death of a close friend ... where I honestly just couldn't give a ... comes out yet bottom, stinky and messy ... you know!

I'm picking myself up, slowly but surely, and starting to face up to the reality that an unwritten blog is never read.

So ... brave soul that I am ... I'm back!

Be patient with me though because I'm a little rusty.

OK ... So when I'm out and about I see things. And yesterday was no exception.

As I escorted a client to the cafe for the artery hardening meal of his choice, we passed ... and ogled ... a gaggle of spherically challenged ladies, all of whom were armed to the teeth with fat dribbling burgers.

Immediately something I shared on Facebook came to mind ...

   Thin women think they are chubby.
   Chubby women think they're fat.
   Fat women think they've got to wear leggings!

Yes! They were all crammed into black leggings that were smaller than their bulk required, thus displaying to all and sundry the colour ... and on one or two, the design ... of their pants!

With seams screaming for mercy, they waddled their way through Canton (a district of Cardiff) to equal measures of delight and disgust from other pedestrians.

I am assured by friends and colleagues that this is a world wide phenomena. Leggings, like hamburgers and fries, are attracted to fat people!

By the way ... did I mention that I list 24 pounds in weight?

The picture was taken when I was out terrorising the general public

The Avalanche At Lunch Time!

I suppose I could tell you of today's unexpected bus journey involving a granny in leopard print leggings, three old gents that carried on a shouted conversation whilst sitting several rows apart and the woman who provided the musical entertainment because she just couldn't decide on which ringtone she wanted to use on her phone, but I won't. Not today.

Today's short brush with reality came in a cafe in Pontypridd.

I had just ordered my ham salad sandwich and a coffee.  As I sat and waited for it to arrive at my table, I contemplated 1. Across; Salty donkey, perhaps? (9).

I penned in 'Assaulted' and proceeded to 2. Across; Penny for them (8).

'Thoughts' I wrote, then turned towards the cafe's door, which had just been flung open and sent  the umbrella stand flying.

Advancing like a Lycra avalanche, three perpetrators of the world elastic shortage blobbed there way into the cafe.
Between them there must have been at least a mile of elasticated waistband's on those Lycra sports pants!
After some rearrangement of tables and chairs they eventually seated themselves.

My sandwich and coffee arrived and I began to eat. From the other table - thankfully some distance away as I feared what would happen if those elastic waistbands lost their fight to subdue so much blubber - I listened as they ordered.

To my surprise, all three of them ordered salad!
  
But it was short lived as they all began to order in earnest.
Double cheeseburger, chips, beans, sausage and sticky-toffee puddings were mentioned along with pizza, kebab and roast chicken. Coke, milkshake and coffee to wash it all down!

I could go on, but it's making me hungry!

They were served relatively quickly and were eating like there was no tomorrow as I polished off the crumbs of my meagre sandwich.

I finished 24. Down; A meal to die four or ban (7).
 
That one had me going for a while!

'Banquet' I wrote.

There was a scraping of chairs, and indeed, tables as the multidimensional trio extricated itself from the places. 

I hastily folded my newspaper, left money on the plate to pay for my food and drink, then high-tailed it out of the door.

If one of them had become jammed in the doorway, I could have been there an awful long time!