About This Blog

This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!

The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.

I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.

Friday, 23 March 2012

The Avalanche At Lunch Time!

I suppose I could tell you of today's unexpected bus journey involving a granny in leopard print leggings, three old gents that carried on a shouted conversation whilst sitting several rows apart and the woman who provided the musical entertainment because she just couldn't decide on which ringtone she wanted to use on her phone, but I won't. Not today.

Today's short brush with reality came in a cafe in Pontypridd.

I had just ordered my ham salad sandwich and a coffee.  As I sat and waited for it to arrive at my table, I contemplated 1. Across; Salty donkey, perhaps? (9).

I penned in 'Assaulted' and proceeded to 2. Across; Penny for them (8).

'Thoughts' I wrote, then turned towards the cafe's door, which had just been flung open and sent  the umbrella stand flying.

Advancing like a Lycra avalanche, three perpetrators of the world elastic shortage blobbed there way into the cafe.
Between them there must have been at least a mile of elasticated waistband's on those Lycra sports pants!
After some rearrangement of tables and chairs they eventually seated themselves.

My sandwich and coffee arrived and I began to eat. From the other table - thankfully some distance away as I feared what would happen if those elastic waistbands lost their fight to subdue so much blubber - I listened as they ordered.

To my surprise, all three of them ordered salad!
But it was short lived as they all began to order in earnest.
Double cheeseburger, chips, beans, sausage and sticky-toffee puddings were mentioned along with pizza, kebab and roast chicken. Coke, milkshake and coffee to wash it all down!

I could go on, but it's making me hungry!

They were served relatively quickly and were eating like there was no tomorrow as I polished off the crumbs of my meagre sandwich.

I finished 24. Down; A meal to die four or ban (7).
That one had me going for a while!

'Banquet' I wrote.

There was a scraping of chairs, and indeed, tables as the multidimensional trio extricated itself from the places. 

I hastily folded my newspaper, left money on the plate to pay for my food and drink, then high-tailed it out of the door.

If one of them had become jammed in the doorway, I could have been there an awful long time!


  1. As someone whose lost over four hundred pounds, not all at once, I sympathize with these chubby diners. Considering my name, you shouldn't be surprised. Have a good weekend.

    Chubby Chatterbox

    1. I carry an extra pound or two myself (I seem to have found a happy medium that my lifestyle can tolerate) so I shouldn't really moan about others with weight problems. Having said that, these three people could have probably lost four hundred pounds and not even noticed.

  2. Definitely walking heart attacks waiting to happen :-).

    1. Definitely unhealthy, that's a fact. Obesity is a huge (no pun intended) problem these days and not one that is going to go away in a hurry.

  3. Youre lucky there weren't still hungry or they might have had room for you...

    1. I never even considered that! Thank God I left when I did! They could have just been getting up so that they could eat me.

  4. You know, when the answer is posted right beneath the crossword clue, I'm actually really good at them. :o) (liked how you worked that in)

    1. I have to do a pure crossword post one of these days.


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