The Less Written, the More Said

I began this blog as a means of keeping a record of daily events.

But it never actually worked out that way.

I ended up writing almost anything that came to mind ... mostly memories, observations and stories about dogs.

I used to write every day, or at least every other day, until one day words were spoken...

You and that damned laptop!

Only a few words, but very much like a dagger in the heart.

In the beginning my writing took place in the mornings, usually between 6 and 9 am until my work pattern changed and I began to write after everyone had gone to bed, usually after 11 pm.

Sometime thereafter my work routine changed yet again and I found that time for writing was reduced (usually) to between the hours of 4 and 6 pm.

Then came those words!

To be fair, I did always get so wrapped up in writing that I nearly always over-ran the time I allocated myself and, as the household's one and only cook, the rest of the family were often left close to starvation. Being so wrapped up in writing, I was oblivious to the rumbling of empty stomachs.

Those words ... let me remind you of them - You and that damned laptop! ... had a meaning far greater than just the sum, as it were, of the words.

They said subliminally "You and that blog of yours are a pain in the backside and we never speak any more because you are always writing or reading. It's taking up all your spare time and I'm getting sick of it and I want to spend more time in your company rather than with a zombie-fied typist"

Of course, subliminal as those words were, I imagined them liberally punctuated with some very colourful expletives.

Anyway, once again I must cut a long story short ... in an effort (might I say a supreme effort) to reintegrate myself into the family, I have reduced my literary output to once or twice a week.

I think 'She who must be obeyed' bought it!

I'm definitely back in favour with regards to certain aspects of married life!!!

Ambitious Author Seeks Plot

I once harboured thoughts about writing a book.

Don't laugh, I mean it!

As a younger man (I'm not really as old as you might think I am), I sat down many times in front of my PC with only one goal ... to write a book!

Not just any book!

It was meant to be a great book that would sell millions of copies and one day appear as a Hollywood blockbuster or a mini-series on TV.

I still have aspirations in that direction but, unfortunately, I am now of an age whereby I recognise my limitations and I have now come to terms with the fact that my ambitions far outweigh my talents.

Oh, yes!  I can rattle off a few lines now and again, sometimes even managing to inject a modicum of humour into them, for my blog ... but a real book?

I know my boundaries!  I've crashed into them often enough.

I suppose we (bloggers) are all, in some way, frustrated, wannabe authors ...  maybe that is why we blog!  Maybe we are, in a sense, all living out our dreams on a small scale by being 'after work' bloggers!

Who knows?

I believe that I mentioned this once before ... correct me if I'm wrong ... but there is certain thrill to having people read your words; laughing at your humour, crying at your pain, sharing your disgust or sympathising with your woes.

Even if you start writing your blog, as I did, for yourself as a form of expression or release, you still get that tingle when someone has left a comment about your article, when your visitor counter starts to go higher and higher and when the number of hits your blog has received reaching for the heavens.

That is how blog-junkies are born!

Oh!  I think I've just admitted to an addiction!

Another one!

Did I ever mention that I lurrrrrrrv chocolate?

Anyway, I wouldn't like to leave you feeling deprived of a good giggle, so ......


Question: What's the difference between a golf ball and a G spot?

Answer: Men will actually spend time looking for a golf ball.