Splash or A Bus Drivers Guilty Pleasure

Careful observation and a few knocks have led me to the conclusion that some bus drivers in South Wales are having a little fun at our (the passengers) expense.

We all know that boarding a bus can be a daunting experience.

You know how it is;

        you buy your ticket or flash your bus pass

        you turn to head towards a seat, and ...

        the bus wheel-spins it's way back into traffic

        you hurtle down the aisle of the bus, passing your intended choice of seating at
        a very high velocity

        if you are unlucky, your passage down the aisle ends with you sprawled on the
        floor just above the buses rear axle.

It's happened to me many times ... without the sprawling ... and it's damned annoying but, strangely, like everyone else, I never complain.

But there is new game afoot!

I call it 'Splashing'.

Let me explain by telling you about yesterday.

It concerns a young gentleman (he wore a floppy woolly hat and those ridiculous off-the-arse jeans displaying multi-coloured underwear and never took his texting-thumb or his eyes from his mobile [cell] phone, so I'm more inclined to refer to him as 'knob-head') who, realising that he was approaching his point of disembarkation, stood up and began to make his way to the front of the bus. He continued to stare at the small screen of his Blueberry, his thumb still jerking about over the keypad.

The bus was little more than fifty yards from the bus stop but still travelling at about 25 miles per hour.

As knob-he ... sorry, the 'gentleman' ... was half way down the aisle, the driver applied the brakes!

Hi didn't push the brake peddle through the floor to bring the bus to a grinding halt. No!

He applied firm pressure, bringing the bus smoothly, but quickly, to a halt.

Knob-h ... the gentleman ... still focusing on his mobile phone began to accelerate towards the front of the bus.

His left arm flailed uselessly at the hand-holds on the backs of seats and the support post, missing everyone as his speed increased to a level Usain Bolt would have been proud of.

The bus stopped.

So did knob-head!

A fly hitting the windscreen of your car splashes; it turns itself inside out in a fraction of a second.

Knob-head 'splashed' against the inside of the windscreen ... he didn't turn himself inside out or leave a bloody smear on the glass but he did say ...

"Oooooof!" as he rebounded onto his arse.

"You ok?" asked the driver?

"Oooooof!" said knob-head as he picked himself up and, red faced, left the bus.

"There you have it, ladies and gentlemen!" shouted the driver to the sniggering passengers.

"Mobile phones can be very, very  dangerous!"