Snot What I Was Expecting!

It was cold last night.

And I made the mistake of taking Clover for a late walk.

Over the past few evenings the weather has been mild with temperatures of around 5º or 6º C so I didn't think it was going to be so damned cold!

Although I was well wrapped up, there were tell-tale signs of the air's true nature.

In less than a minute my nose began to ...shall we say leak?

I put my hand into my coat pocket to take out the pack of tissues that I always keep there and found myself engaged in a tussle with the pockets lining, which seemed intent on holding onto them.

As I struggled (I really should have removed my gloves, but it was so cold), my runny nose began to prickle.  I felt rather than heard a crackling and pinging in my nostrils as my snot began to freeze.

I redoubled my efforts to liberate my tissues, accidentally tearing the pockets lining in the process.

It was no good!  The glove had to come off!

Once the packet was freed from the depths of pockets, a solitary tissue was extracted and I began to tidy the effluence from my nose.
     

        Effluence:  meaning 'a substance that flows out from something'. 

                           In this instance, however, the flow had ceased and had
                           become a frozen, snotty bridge between my nostrils and
                           my moustache

O-o-o-o-oh!

As I blew my nose a mini iceberg was ejected from my nasal passage.

The pain! The pain!

I decided to cut short our walk and I headed home with Clover.

Once safely back inside I decided to inspect the damage to my nose.

As I looked in the mirror I was horrified to see that pieces of  tissue had frozen to my moustache.

GOD!

On my walk back home I had passed at least four people!

The shame!

In our street I would forever be known as the man with tissue frozen to his top lip.

And this morning?

My nose still bloody hurts!