About This Blog

This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!

The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.

I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.

Sunday, 28 July 2013

Don't Fall With Your Mouth Open!

Oh, the temptation!

It got the better of me and I paid the price.

And learnt a valuable lesson too.

I happened thus ...

Sym, my border collie (deceased) of whom I was the daddy, was only a youngster of 8 or 9 months.
Sox, his big sister, had not yet been rescued from the pound, and poor Clover, unbeknown to us, was still suffering at the hands of a puppy farm breeder.

On this particular day I decided that my boy and I would go to the Wennalt, a hilly, wooded area just outside Cardiff.

At this time I hadn't yet learnt of Sym's passion for romping and wallowing in the green slime that covered most of the ground in the hollows on the lower slopes.

The green slime ... the smelly green slime ... would become on of his favourite play things.

Anyway, on this day, after several hours of walking up and down muddy hillsides and fighting our way through brambles, we headed exhausted back towards the car park and home.

As we walked down the final slope, Sym dragging a small tree with him, I noticed just off to my right a rope hanging from a tree.

Someone had made a rope swing!

Now, I have a reputation as a serious professional person to protect and, as such, could not be seen, as it were, having childish fun ... but there was no one around!

No one would see me! No one would ever know!

So, having checked and re-checked that no one was around, I made a bee-line for the rope, determined spend a few minutes dangling childishly over the abyss (a crater filled with slime).

Experimental tugs on the rope seemed to prove that it was safe so, after another quick glance around the woods, I ran clutching the rope firmly and leaped out over the abyss.

Sym barked and ran through the slime in the crater.

I soared! I most probably screamed GERONIMO although, I'm not sure why. There is no record of Geronimo ever swinging on a rope dangling from a tree.

I landed on the other side, exhilarated; my blood pumping; I was full of the joy's of life.

I was having fun!

I turned, laughing now, and leaped again.

And learnt a very important lesson; one which I think needs to be shared with the world for the sake of safety.

CRACK said the branch to which the rope was attached.

SPLAT said yours truly as his body hit the slime.

WOOF  said Sym as he leapt to safety.

That lesson, dear friends, as you have already read in the title of this little piece, is this ...

     Don't Fall With You Mouth Open!

Because Wales tastes bloody awful!

We went home taking that vile and disgusting smell of the slime with us.


  1. Still, a memory to carry with you to this very day, a memory worth a bit of slime stink.

  2. Hari Om
    This is important advice. Ropes can be found hanging in all sorts of wonderful places, causing The Wyld Side to come out in even the tamest of folk... At least you landed softly, albeit with a mouthful of algae. &*>

  3. Heartofstone.alone29 July 2013 at 11:00

    Thank you for sharing, and making me laugh out loud, I think all of Kent heard me! :-D

  4. Oh yuk...funny enough it turns out there are lots of things you should not do with your mouth open..
    Have you heard of Giant Cuttlefish? Up to 6 or 7 Kg (12lbs) They breed here then die and wash up on the local beaches, tonnes of them.. My Foxy loved to roll in the rotting bodies and although I kept a very close eye on her she sometimes managed to come back stained in ink and bile...more than once with actual maggots dropping from her coat...


Any and all comments are welcome ...