So far unsuccessfully!
The Bad Fairy that haunts my waking hours and prevents me from winning the lottery has sealed that part of my mind up to the realities of life.
But there is a good side because The Good Fairy is working hard to save me ... the adult me ... and release all those sensible thoughts that I should be having.
Back in the day, The Good Fairy used to give me money when my teeth fell out. She would tuck it under my pillow in the middle of the night. But The Bad Fairy would always make spend it the next day on more sweets to rot my teeth.
Not that they are rotten. I can assure you that I do visit the dentist every so often as the need arises.
But am I ready to grow up?
D'ya know ... at times I still get those funny feelings in my stomach ... the butterfly ones ... and I have spontaneous giggly fits! And I'm mumble-mumble years old!
Is that the behaviour of a grown up?
Do I want to be a grown up? Do I have to be a grown up?
Maybe The Bad Fairy has done me a favour! Maybe The Bad Fairy has inadvertently made me a happier person!
OK, so the lottery remains a far off dream, but who cares?
I reckon I'm still happy with my lot in life.
I know no one out there believes in Fairies. But that is your loss. You have all ... bar a few ... grown up!
For those of you who still enjoy their elongated childhood and wish to continue to do so, simply say
'Stuff you, Bad Fairy'!
* A recent horoscope told me to be polite to the good fairy that watches over me and to be wary of the bad fairy that is trying to make my life a misery. It was a load of tosh really, written by a grown up! Well, what d'ya expect from grown up's?