About This Blog

This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!

The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.

I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Liza Bean Bitey, Of The Minneapolis Biteys, Comes Calling!

The door bell chimed.
Sym raced into the hallway.
"Open it! Open it!" he said as he bounced up and down.

I opened it and a cat strolled in, flicking it's tail up into a question mark.

"Liza Bean Bitey!", exclaimed Sym, his tail wagging furiously
"Of ... ?"
"Er, the Minneapolis Biteys", he answered meekly. 
"And don't you forget it!".

Liza Bean Bitey sauntered down the hallway.

"Anyone sniffing my bottom looses an eye!"

Sym trailed along behind her as she headed down the hall towards the dining room, aka the 'poker room'. He stopped at the door and threw me a quick glance.

"This is her, isn't it?" I whispered.
"Nah! Terrifying's more like it!"

"I can hear every word, you know"

Sym entered the din... sorry, the poker room and closed the door.

Liza Bean sat at the table (which was covered in a green baize tablecloth) taking a very keen interest in one, long extended claw.

"So who's playin' tonight? Bob the Bassett?"
"Nope! He's got friction burns on his willy again".
"A-ha! Running over asphalt, huh?"
"What can I say? He has short legs. Blossom and Zac of the Cardiff ... er, Bossom'n Zac's ... will be here."
"They got money?"
"I'll take it."

Liza scanned the room.

"You said you'd lay on some food".
"I did! I've got chips and Quack-a-Moley"
"D'you mean guacamole?"
"No. Quack-a-Moley. Got runny duck in it"
"Ah, you mean Ruddy Duck"
"No, no, it was definitely runny when we found it".
"Found it?"
"Down by the river. Been dead for a good two weeks. That's how we found it. Smells good, doesn't it? Zac picked up the moles from the garden. They're fresh. A little chewed, but fresh".

Liza Bean glanced at the door.

"D'ya know what? I think I kinda left, like, er, left something ... anything ... in the oven. I just gotta ... gotta ..."

Liza Bean made a break for the door, her claws struggling to gain purchase on the laminate flooring. After a few seconds, the front door slammed behind her.

"Did it work?" I asked Sym as I craned my neck around the door.
"Like a charm!" he answered, waving the credit card that Liza had left behind
He looked at it. "This Pearl," he said. "She must be some kinda fruit-loop to let Liza steal her credit card all the time."


  1. A cat here, but why am I envisioning that picture of dogs playing poker?

    1. I know that one. Cat's are natural poker players though. Ya gotta be ruthless to beat 'em!

  2. Yippee !! Loved it .. kisses to Sym!

    1. Thanks! Sym can't be kissed at the moment. He'son the tiles using Pearl's credit card!

  3. ha! it's fun when blogs do cross-overs like tv shows.
    did you use the card to order pizza?

    1. Pizza, fine wine and a few pole-dancing beagles curtesy of Pearl's plastic.


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