About This Blog

This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!

The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.

I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.

Saturday, 15 January 2011

Three Chins, A Fat Ass And A Babe In Boots

There I was, in a cafe eating my bacon sandwich and drinking my latte, when in walked three women.

They sat at a table directly in my line of sight, which was annoying as they blocked my wonderful view of the dustbins that were lined up on the street outside awaiting the attention of our local waste management operatives.

I looked at them instead.

There was a blonde one: she was podgy and had at least three chins, although a re-count may have revealed more. Hence forth know as TC (Three Chins)

There was one with rust-brown hair: she made chubby look slim and her bottom, in my opinion, definitely needed a second chair. Hence forth know as SC (Second Chair)

And there was an auburn haired Babe in boots up to her knees: Tall and shapely, but with a huge piece of clunker on the third finger of her left hand. Damn! Hence forth know as Babe (er ... Babe).

TC was obviously the 'dominant' one as it was she who decided where they sat.

"This ones good" said TC.

"Why not sit by the window?" asked SC.

"THIS is where I want to sit" spat TC as she pulled out a chair.

Babe said nothing, but offered an embarrassed look at the other customers as if apologising for TC.

Coats were removed and draped over chairs and they all sat.

TC took charge of the only menu on the table and asked "What's everyone having?"

Babe spoke. "Pot of tea for me and perhaps a cheese and ham melt"

"Have a latte, dear.  They're very good!" said TC and Babe  - poor meek Babe - capitulated without a struggle.

 SC was a little smarter than Babe and tried to fend off any 'correction' by TC by asking "What do you recommend?" she asked.

TC pulled her glasses down and perched them precariously on the very tip of her nose and peered over them at SC.

"It's a 'greasy spoon' cafe, dear!  I wouldn't even recommend being here if it wasn't raining so hard" she said.

"Oh!" said a deflated SC. "In that case I'll just have a salad.  Can't go wrong with a salad, can you!"

Babe rolled her eyes and she looked out of the window.

"Don't get me started on salad's, dear" said TC. "I could  tell you tales .... "

And she proceeded to list a number of establishments where she'd had run-in's with waiters, chef's and management regarding the inferior salads they had to offer.

TC never whispered or spoke in a slightly more guarded manner about any subject that was brought to the table.  Babe and SC, in those few seconds that were available to them, spoke in subdued and somewhat embarrassed  tones, receiving one or two snapped "Speak up dear"s from TC.

I learned during my spell of eavesdropping, that this was a regular girlie-day-out thing that they were engaged in and that they met every Friday.  Babe and SC were obviously uncomfortable in the company of TC, but TC seemed to revel in her leadership and dominance, as it were, over her friends.

I caught many a glance from SC and Babe that seemed to both ask for forgiveness (for TC) and plead for rescue.  I was tempted to say something to TC about her volume and tone, but to be honest ... she scared me!

I paid and left.

As I walked past the window of the cafe, TC was busy lecturing the waitress, no doubt on how to wait on tables, SC was sitting on her hands and looking at the floor and Babe was looking longingly out of the window.  When she saw me she gave a half hearted wave and shrugged!

I somehow felt guilty at leaving SC and Babe in the clutches of TC ... but what could I do?

I'm just not that brave!

1 comment:

  1. All obese people who eat at restaurants always order a salad check it next time. Skinny women usually surround themselves with bigger women it makes them feel more attractive to alpha males.


Any and all comments are welcome ...