About This Blog

This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!

The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.

I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.


Friday 6 January 2012

Time: Too Long On The Toilet

The freshly sliced seconds, minutes and indeed hours of 2012 speed past me, turning my future into my past without so much as a 'by your leave'.  Time is passing me by at such a rate that I can almost hear the hiss as it squeezes itself through the air.

My 'future', so far ahead of me yet already considering retiring into my 'past', never seems to stick around long enough to make an impact as my 'present'.

I mean, come on!  What is the purpose of a future if you can't use it as a present?

My future is infinite ... provided that I don't kick the bucket

My past is 52 years old and ageing rapidly.

My present?

Oh! There goes another one! And another ...

You see?

Presents go by so quickly that you can't use them!

Oooo!  Did ya see that one?

I hate time!

There you go!  That's my morning grump out of the way.

Let's talk some shit!

Erm, anyone done anything, ya know, wicked?

Have you been bad?

I did!

I ate far too much chocolate over Christmas and New Year.

Man!

That stuff really makes you wanna go.

It can keep you on the 'throne' for hours at a time if you over do it.

What?

Well it does!

5 comments:

  1. during those hours on the throne, be glad for happy, modern toilet paper and that you're not using a rock or some sand to clean up back there!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Or a shell. Or sponge which someone else used.
    Yes, Sherilin wrote a post about Roman toilet paper. Go ahead. Check it out.
    You'll love your single-ply so much you'll think you're the Queen of England.
    She DOES poop, doesn't she?
    "Phillip?"
    "Yes, Elizabeth, your majesty?"
    "That colonial Penwasser fellow has been poking fun at whether I have a BM or not."
    "Quite."
    "We are not amused."
    "I'll have him buggered."
    "Oh, go bugger yourself. Methinks I feel the need to evacuate. Fetch me one of those shells from William's honeymoon."

    ReplyDelete
  3. You know, I think he is too!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The years flit by like the pages of a book left in the wind....(Sigh!)

    ReplyDelete

Any and all comments are welcome ...