Waiting For Christmas 1

(Originally posted on December 15, 2009)

Isn't this a grand time of year?

Christmas trees, holly, mistletoe? Maybe even the chance of snow at Christmas!  The odd's for white one habe risen since the news of colder weather coming from northern europe.

Get your thermal knickers out ladies 'cos you might just be having snowball fight and sledging trips after all ... while we 'chaps' stay in the warm watching all those winter sports where other people hear the chink, chink of spherical objects being frozen off.

Yes, it's here at last ... doesn't seem like ten minutes ago that we had the last one does it?

Christmas ... a time of good will and cheer to all men and expensive prezzies to all women.

To all you men out there in 'doggie' land, how many of you have a pact with their other half not to buy each other's presents?

Let me tell you now, before it's too late ... such pacts are not meant to be adhered to!  If your significant other say's to you "Let's not buy each other anything this year" it means 'surprise me'.

Not that you will be surprised at Christmas, because she will turn around and say "Oh! But I thought we'd agreed not to to the prezzy thing this year" and believe me, she willl feel no guilt ... and will prob'ly look stunning in her new earrings/dress/coat/shoes/necklace.

OK, there are instances where this whole thing works the other way around, but they are few and far between.  So get yourselves to the shops as soon as possible, because if her Christmas is 'presentless'  your lunches and dinners will lose their flavour/be burnt/not appear and there will be a slow deterioration of quality in the her 'wifley' functions.

I hope you heed this warning ... your quality of life could depend upon it.

Ask yourself;  Has she seen something in a shop window lately and said "That's nice!", has she ever said "Mrs So 'n So's got a new [insert whatever it was]"?

If any of those, or something similar, are true ... go shopping NOW!!!

To those who ignore this warning ... when your lunch is cold or you are having tuna sanwiches for the third day in a row, remember ...

I told you so!


P.S.  Saying to her "but we agreed ...." could, in the words of Soup Dispenser Repair Technician third class Dave Lster, land you in deep smeg!