About This Blog

This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!

The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.

I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.

Thursday, 3 February 2011

Poopless In The Good Old U.S. Of A.

This post (the van potty x2)  by SherilinR reminded of something I started to write ages ago but never never got around to posting.

Here it is.

As a child I thought I was different ... that the British in general were different.

My early childhood was spent watching two TV channels - BBC and ITV - and my experiences of the world beyond my home town was limited and everything outside of Newbiggin-by-the-Sea was alien to me.

My perception of everything and everyone else on God's earth was based mainly on those shows that appeared on our screens.

I recall episodes of Rawhide and watching Rowdy and Gil save many a woman in distress or avoiding certain death by heading off stupid stampeding cattle at the last moment.

I remember Stu Bailey, Jeff Spencer and 'Kookie' keeping the streets of L.A. safe in 77 Sunset Strip.

Ben, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe would  ride out each week, save everybody (including their land) from bad guys whilst spouting moral after moral.

But never ... not once ... did any of those hero's ever hesitate before chasing villains or saving the obligatory damsel in distress and say "Hang a minute.  I think I gotta poop first"!

They never did, did they?

Not until Jane Fonda dropped her knickers to have a pee in the 1977 film ´Fun With Dick´ And Jane did I realise that Americans need to perform bodily functions in the same way as we British do.

Call me naive if you will (pauses for a chorus of jeers) but Hollywood and the TV networks of my childhood seemed determined to let us believe that toilets, and the use thereof, were not something that American hero's ever needed or wanted.

Nowadays, however, it's a different story.

Hollywood seems to think that realism now only comes from actors sometimes delivering their lines whilst taking a leek or farting "Hail To The Chief".

Bodily functions are readily discussed or carried out on our screens (in an 'acting' sense, of course) in an effort to deliver something that people will accept, if not as real, at least as plausible.

Anyway ...

... that is why I thought I (we) was (were) different!

Back then, I thought that Americans didn't do 'doodoo' or 'peepee' (try saying that several times very fast)!

So I wanted to be American, because doing 'doodoo' and 'peepee', in my opinion was, and is, a pretty disgusting way of disposing of waste.

God? If you're reading this ... the waste disposal system you designed ... well, it stinks! ... Literally!


  1. lol! thanks for the shout out. i'm always glad when my shit stories can be inspirational. i've tried to think of ways in which we could dispose of our waste in a less disgusting fashion, but so far, i haven't thought of one. unless we could rig up a way to shit out through our feet. but maybe that would be setting us up for leg cramps & extra offensive foot odor.

  2. Honestly we've now swung too far in the other direction. Seems to me that you can't watch a movie these days without seeing someone vomit. I mean, really, have they just recently perfected vomiting special effects and can't wait to use them or what?!


  3. @SherilinR: You are welcome!

    @Pearl: There is nothing wrong with a good vomiting now and again. Rather like regurgitated Mexican food really.


Any and all comments are welcome ...