About This Blog

This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!

The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.

I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.


Sunday, 27 February 2011

Soul Salvation

Hardship made you lose all trust,
and sorrow turned your heart to frost.
Loneliness through the cold hard days,
memories of a family long ago lost.
Fear and anger fill your soul,
as alone you sit inside a cage.
No salvation in sight,
just cold and bitter rage.
Day after day,
night after night.
Engulfed in sadness,
with no way to fight.

  then

Come said a voice
right by your ear,
walk with me,
and have no fear.
I'll show you life,
as it ought be.
I'll show you love,
just wait, you'll see.
I will teach,
but I too will learn.
For your trust and love,
I hope to earn.
Stay with me,
until the end.
Be my companion,
my confidant and friend.

  and many years from now

I will ease your crossing,
and hold you as you sleep.
And as I wish a fond farewell,
I shall promise not to weep.
...
But now,
I think it's that time of day!
Get your ball,
and let's go play!

Was It Something I Said?

So this ...

"This blog is open to invited readers only"


... is what some of you are telling me when I try to read your latest offerings.

Was it something I said?

I hate it when I accidentally pi$$ someone off and don't realise it, don't you?

Additional


A quick check has shown that three blogs I follow are unresponsive (via the blogger interface) and one (was three) tells me I am an unwanted guest.

I am beginning to get that self pity wallowing feeling!

Saturday, 26 February 2011

Tough Blogging And 26 Hours Of Hell!

It would appear that some blogs are, for reasons unknown, unavailable to me this merry morn!

I click, I wait, and I see nothing!

From all those that I follow, less than half have been available to read.  This can really mess up my day!

Some people at this time in the morning can't do without their coffee (intravenously of course to prevent unwarranted hand usage), others will need their fix of cereals or jam on toast ... I need to catch up on what you lot out there have been up to!

But I can't because of some unknown problem (and at least one person having blocked me) and it's so frustrating.

I will have to go to work in a few minutes (it's just gone 6am) and I won't have access to the internet for another 26 hours!

It's gonna be hard and I might not survive, but I'm a roughie-toughie ex-soldier, so I'll not go down without a fight!

Say a prayer for me

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Primates And Rock Groups Living The Daydream

Today I was joined on my rounds by Mike, Mickey, Davy and Peter.

They politely informed me that they were 'primates' with a belief in love and daydreams. They related to me the story of  Mary (Mary) and stated their interest into where it was she was actually going.

For a few minutes we were joined by a randy scouse git (who preffered an alternate title) and we discussed Sunday's in a pleasant valley, where squires abounded and a rock group rehearsed.  Then there was that all too brief excursion on the train to a place called Clarksville.

The boys also made it plain that they were not to be trampled on and that they were in no way to be used as stepping stones by anyone.

It was, as it were, a trip down memory lane. Back to the days of my childhood and a reunion with old friends.

I miss those days. I really do!

If there is some confusion as to which old friends I reunited with, feel free to make a comment and I'll get back to you with the answer.

Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Sym's Visit To The Oncologist

So ...
"Daddy makes a fantastic mattress!"



Sym had the full spectrum of blood tests and a stomach ultrasound scan.

He behaved impeccably and afterwards even managed to lure the receptionists out from behind their desks for a game of catch the bouncy ball.

He had his Vincristine IV today (yesterday) and he has to take two Prednisolone tablets daily (from today).  He will need weekly blood tests at the local vets (prior to IV meds) for the next two weeks then have to return to Vale Referrals on Monday of the 4th week. 

And so it will it will continue (with a gradual decrease of meds) for 25 weeks. 

We have to wait and watch now to see how well he get's on with his medication.

So far he seems quite a happy pup ... but that could just be because he's back home

Monday, 21 February 2011

Doggy Doctor

Today Sym ...

... is going to the doggy oncologist!

There will be tests, tests and more tests to determine just how ill he really is and
for them to decide what his best course of treatment would be.

Fingers crossed that he will be with us for a long time yet.


Sunday, 20 February 2011

Friday, 18 February 2011

Chez Symdaddy Is Open For Business ...

... as long as you like beans on toast, cheese on toast or chicken on toast.

Sorry, but I'm all cooked-out!

My culinary brain is normally firing on all cylinders and my ability to create something out of nothing is legendary in our household.

Tonight it saddens me to say that I will be feeding the mob baying at the kitchen door and demanding sustenance with little more that beans on toast.

"Like it or lump it" I cried through the barricaded door.

They screamed for my blood, as you yourself probably would, and the kitchen door strained under the pressure as they pounded the wood.

They are still hammering now and I fear that my 'presidency' of the kitchen is about to end in violence.

I may be calling on you very soon to ask for asylum.

Thursday, 17 February 2011

Biggles Flies Again or Hotrod's Pleasure ...

I'm sorry folks, but I really have been very busy lately.  Here is a little something from my deep,dark past (Oct 2010 apparently) which may amuse you.

...

Today I was privileged to meet a little brown and white Jack Russell terrier called Biggles.

Biggles is a two year old cutie belonging to an elderly couple that I met whilst out and about with a client in the town of Cowbridge.

He was named after James Bigglesworth (a pilot and adventurer, who was the title character and main hero of the Biggles series of youth-oriented adventure books written by W. E. Johns) because of the brown markings that covered his head and eyes and resembled old fashioned flying goggles and helmet.

As I watched Biggles interacting with two other dogs, I noticed that he was very, very keen to 'mount' them ... the dirty boy!

As I approached, the old man said "Watch it! He'll have your leg."

He was right too!  I had barely reached them when Biggles made break for it and tried to hump my leg!  After shrugging off his amorous advances, he turned his attention to a shopping bag, my clients leg, his owners legs and finally, as the excitement grew to be too much for him, to thin air .

Passers by were in fits of laughter as poor old Biggles dry-humped himself to satisfaction.

His embarrassed owners hastily explained that they were taking him to the vet as they were at a loss as to why he always did such a thing, especially as he had long ago lost his 'baubles'.

"My son thinks it's funny when he does it" said the old man.  "He doesn't call him Biggles any more you know".

"What does he call him now then?" I asked.

"Hotrod!" came the reply.

Poor Hotrod had to be carried back to their car!  

He was exhausted! 

Bless him ... the randy little sod!

Sunday, 13 February 2011

Doctor, Doctor!

I have been under the weather lately. My hypochondria has taken a turn for the worst.

As usual, I save all my 'complaints' up until I have enough to be able to grab the doctors attention and hold it, just long enough, to get a sick note out of him.

So I went to see him last week.

"How many have you got today?" he asked as he checked his watch.

"Not many ... four maybe ... if you don't count the bone, that is" I replied.

"Bone? You've broken a bone?"

"No!" I said. "I've swallowed one".

"Are you choking?" he asked looking concerned.

"No! I really did swallow a bone!"

He was not impressed with my levity and checked his watch again.

"Have you anything serious that you would like me to check?" he asked as he tapped a little rubber hammer on his desktop.

"My nose keeps running!" I mumbled.

"Stick you foot out and trip it up! Next?"

I proceeded to tell him that I had wind ... he gave me a kite!

"What else have you got?"

"Well" I said. "Those pills you gave me for BO ..."

"Don't tell me"he interrupted. "They keep falling out of your armpits, right?"

"Awww! C'mon doc. Your ruining my best material!" I complained

He then spoke to me in capital letters!

"HAVE YOU GOT SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU?"

"'s"" I whimpered, unaccustomed to his manner.

"Tell me!"

So I told him (I ain't telling you lot!).

He wrote me a prescription.

"Is that it?" he asked as he handed it over.

"One more thing" I said. "I keep hearing Irish voices. They seem to come from stomach".

"Ah! Stomach Ulsters!" he replied as he frog-marched me out of the door.

"I also have constant deja vu experiences!" I shrieked.

"That's because I throw you out of here at the same time every Monday of every week!" he shouted in my ear.

I won't go and see him again ...




... until next Monday.

Anyone got any silly one-liners I could use?

Friday, 11 February 2011

Sym, Of Whom I am The 'Daddy'!

This is my boy!

Sym
Yesterday we were told that he had lymphoma!

We were devastated as we'd had him since he was a twelve week old pup.

Lymphoma in dogs is treatable and if diagnosed early enough there is a chance
of it going into remission.

At this point we do not know what stage he is in but
we are hopeful that he will be one of the lucky few.

Keep your fingers crossed for him!


Thursday, 10 February 2011

Where Did We Meet - A Response



SherilinR wrote an article entitled "Where Did We Meet?".  This is my response to that post (slightly altered from the version that appears in her blog)




We met, as I recall, just as you pushed that big red button that had a "Do Not Press" sign on it.

It was a loud bang, but the light show was fantastic and who would have thought that my arm, as it flew through the air, would have had enough velocity to go through 10 inches of concrete!

Damned lucky for you that you knew where the safety bunker was!
And how you tried to remove that sharp piece of metal from my abdomen was really sweet of you, but it did sort of, you know, smart a bit.

I also remember how kind you were and how, after retrieving my legs, you carried them to the ambulance for me. You taught me how to write left handed and you were instrumental in getting me my new wheelchair.

Gosh! How we laughed that time when you pushed me in my chair down that big hill towards the cliffs then accidentally let go just after you said "Oh no! I think the brake is broken!" ... You remember ... it was on that day my when I was going to write my will and you said "Don't worry about that. I have a will in my pocket that I signed for you earlier."

Those were the days, eh?
 
Anyway, how are you doing? Are you out of prison yet?

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Homer & Marge (Part Two)

(The Mad Lady was kind enough to post this for me on her blog on February 7th.  This is for those of you who have yet to pay her a visit)

The door slammed.

"Bastard!"

Feet stamped upstairs and wood was put under immense strain as a bedroom door was almost wrenched from it's hinges.

"Bastard!"

More stamping feet on the stairs made their way back to the hallway.

 "Bastard!"

"Is that you? D'ya get the Bud?".  Homer twitched at the thought of a beer, but kept his eyes on the game.

"Bastard!" said Marge once more for effect as she entered the lounge. "I could kill you, Homer. I really could".

In her hand was a box of condoms. She took one out then threw the box at Homer.

"What've I been'n done now?"

"I'm pregnant you idiot!" she growled as she peeled the wrapper off the condom.

"Congratulations Us!" said Homer.  "Woooo-Woooo!  I think."

Marge placed the tip of the condom over two fingers and rolled it down.  It split almost immediately.

"Look!" she spat at Homer holding her hand up and waving it in his face.

"Funny!  That's what happens when I use 'em too.", came Homers reply as he watched his team fumble yet again.

"You ... you ... Oooooooooooooo!  I could strangle you!", cried Marge.  "Did ya read the box? Huh?  Did ya? 'Made in 1959' it says!  Jeez! We already have four kids!  What are we gonna do with a fifth?  How're we gonna manage?"

"S'pose we could sneak another one in without being noticed if we tried"

"I meant financially, smart ass!"

"I reckon I could get my boss to print my pay cheque on a piece'o rubber ... make it stretch, y'know? hahahahahahaha!"

The lounge door slammed behind a fuming Marge.  She once again stamped her way up the stairs and stormed into the bedroom.  The windows rattled as that door too was slammed shut.  In the following silence, there was an audible 'click' as the key turned in the lock.

Homer, still in front of the TV, looked up at the ceiling and shouted "Are we still on for the Cop and Hooker game tonight Marge? Marge?"

Monday, 7 February 2011

Hit Me!

I get my highest number of hits on days that I don't post an article!

Today I ain't postin' nuffink just to see if'n anyone comes

a callin'!

Are you folks tryin' to tell me somethin'?

Sunday, 6 February 2011

In Laws

My father-in-law fell and hurt his head!

He was trying to look over the fence at his neighbours erection.  It was going up pretty fast and blocking off the sunlight.  Unfortunately for my father-in-law, fell in his back passage - head first - before he could find out that his neighbours erection was only a temporary thing intended for his neighbours wife's birthday.

Whist my father-in-law was reclining in his hospital bed, we took the opportunity to arrange for some guys to come around with tools to keep my mother-in-law happy.  There were a number of things she wanted doing and those guys were so well equipped they were able to take care of all her wishes.

After they had left though,  my mother-in-laws drawers started to smoulder in the kitchen, so they had to come back and sort her out again!  She was very pleased that day, I can tell you!

As a treat, and seeing as my father-in-law was still in hospital, we took her to watch the regatta on the river Taff.  The local rowing club were racing and my mother-in-law seemed fascinated.

Afterwards she declared that she thought that the red team had the best cox. She seemed to know quite a lot  about rowing as she also stated that 'the smaller the cox, the better the stroke'.

Amazing what she knows!

Friday, 4 February 2011

Apology And Basic Rules

I have some new followers to whom I owe an apology.

I apologise most sincerely for not welcoming you 'on board' at the appropriate time.

As I hope you will appreciate, I have had and extremely busy week, what with work and my 'research' into toiletry history of the U.S.A. as depicted by the movie and TV wizards of Hollywood.

I am most grateful that you have chosen to follow my scribblings and can assure you that I will do everything in my power to make you feel at home and keep you entertained.

Basic House Rules
  • Gentlemen are reminded the the toilet seat should be lowered (for the ladies) after the expulsion of 'used' beer.
  • Ladies are reminded that the toilet seat should be raised (for the gentlemen) after the expulsion of 'used' girlie beverages (what's good for the goose ... ).
  • Personal property, including you sense of humour, cannot be replaced if damaged and no liability will be accepted by the author and owner of this blog.
  • Any comment you would care to make, both positive and negative, would be gratefully received and could only serve to benefit this blog.
  • The consumption of junk food and alcohol on this site is strictly encouraged, however ...
  • the fridge (eat your heart out Mad Lady!) will be padlocked and the chocolate cake well hidden.
  • In case of emergency, exit via the tiny little X at the top right-hand corner of your browser.
  • And 'NO!', you cannot rummage through my drawers during your stay.

Thank you for 'reading' Symdaddy Blog-ways!  I hope you will 'read' with me again soon.

Thursday, 3 February 2011

Poopless In The Good Old U.S. Of A.

This post (the van potty x2)  by SherilinR reminded of something I started to write ages ago but never never got around to posting.

Here it is.

As a child I thought I was different ... that the British in general were different.

My early childhood was spent watching two TV channels - BBC and ITV - and my experiences of the world beyond my home town was limited and everything outside of Newbiggin-by-the-Sea was alien to me.

My perception of everything and everyone else on God's earth was based mainly on those shows that appeared on our screens.

I recall episodes of Rawhide and watching Rowdy and Gil save many a woman in distress or avoiding certain death by heading off stupid stampeding cattle at the last moment.

I remember Stu Bailey, Jeff Spencer and 'Kookie' keeping the streets of L.A. safe in 77 Sunset Strip.

Ben, Adam, Hoss and Little Joe would  ride out each week, save everybody (including their land) from bad guys whilst spouting moral after moral.

But never ... not once ... did any of those hero's ever hesitate before chasing villains or saving the obligatory damsel in distress and say "Hang a minute.  I think I gotta poop first"!

They never did, did they?

Not until Jane Fonda dropped her knickers to have a pee in the 1977 film ´Fun With Dick´ And Jane did I realise that Americans need to perform bodily functions in the same way as we British do.

Call me naive if you will (pauses for a chorus of jeers) but Hollywood and the TV networks of my childhood seemed determined to let us believe that toilets, and the use thereof, were not something that American hero's ever needed or wanted.

Nowadays, however, it's a different story.

Hollywood seems to think that realism now only comes from actors sometimes delivering their lines whilst taking a leek or farting "Hail To The Chief".

Bodily functions are readily discussed or carried out on our screens (in an 'acting' sense, of course) in an effort to deliver something that people will accept, if not as real, at least as plausible.

Anyway ...

... that is why I thought I (we) was (were) different!

Back then, I thought that Americans didn't do 'doodoo' or 'peepee' (try saying that several times very fast)!

So I wanted to be American, because doing 'doodoo' and 'peepee', in my opinion was, and is, a pretty disgusting way of disposing of waste.

God? If you're reading this ... the waste disposal system you designed ... well, it stinks! ... Literally!

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Stand-Off II

Don't you hiss at me girlie!


Going AWOL for a while.
I will be completely without technology* of any kind for the next 28 hours!
Secret mission stuff! You know how it is.
Pray for me!




* 'cept for my phone, TV, radio, sat-nav, Nintendo DS
and a few other things.
No laptop though.