About This Blog

This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!

The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.

I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.

Friday, 4 May 2012

Beans For Dinner


A deathly silence fell upon the room like a thick, woolly blanket.

A smirk, always dancing on the edge of a full-blown smile, crept across Joanne's face as she hugged the sofa cushion just a little tighter.

Geoffrey's wine glass paused on it's way towards his lips as he suddenly found the curtains of great interest..

Sidney looked at a painting on the wall and shuffled his backside slightly sideways in his armchair. He made a low grunting noise which, I think was intended as a 'harrumph' of disapproval!

An odour, which hinted at the presence of an as yet undiscovered corpse in the room, filled the air.

Eyes watered.

Marjorie returned at this moment from the kitchen carrying a tray laden with cheese and cracker.

She came to an immediate halt. "Oh, my goodness!"

Tinsel, the cat, rose from her sleeping place by the hearth, sniffed the air, then with a flick of her tail, strutted from the room. She cast us a look that quite clearly said "You lot are worse than dogs"!

I swilled my brandy around the glass and watched as a few bubbles spun like small, hyperactive goldfish.

"I think," said Marjorie as soon as her cerebral functions had been restored.

"I think, with hindsight, that serving baked beans for dinner was possibly a mistake".

I looked up.

"but I love baked beans" I said.

"A-ha!" said Joanne, Geoffrey and Sidney in unison as they all made a move to follow Tinsel.

"I'm only human!" I said, but the damage had already been done.

Strangely, I have never been invited to Marjorie's house for dinner again.



  1. "... The gaseous after-effects of baked beans aren't exactly the fault of the humble legume -- the dirty work is done by bacteria residing in your large intestine. ..."

    "Why Beans Give You Gas"
    By Hannah Holmes


    1. I read something like that once before ... who would have guessed that bacteria can cause beans to explode!

  2. Look at this! thought it was pretty funny i was bored on youtube,, and i also cant work how to email it to you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BjwlPcCo5c&feature=related

  3. Reminds of the scene from the movie Blazing Saddles when all the cowboys are eating baked beans around the camp fire and the after effects, what a pong that would have bean :-).

    1. Now that was a good film in it's day and the farting scene had us in stitches back then!

  4. Someboby needs to say it: this post stinks. But fun to read.

  5. Great writing..:) Very smooth prose to say "oops" I f--ted.So sorry.

    1. Ooooh! I like you Mary. You can come again!


Any and all comments are welcome ...