About This Blog

This blog was originally started as a thread on the forum pages of an animal rescue site. Now it's here!

The articles you find in here are purely for entertainment (yours and mine) and (with one or two exceptions) are all tongue-in-cheek chronicles of the World (my bit, anyway) as I see it.
No disrespect is intended towards anyone unless I make a mistake and make it too obvious.

I hope you enjoy my offerings. Feedback and comments of any kind are welcome.

Friday, 5 November 2010

What Would Batman Do?

OK, so we all know, right, that Batman … The Caped Crusader … would definitely do something heroic and incredibly brave when faced with danger but, and it’s a ‘biggie’ BUT (hahaha! Does my but look big in that?), what would you do?
I think each and every one of us has at sometime in our lives imagined ourselves as a ‘Joe-public’ kind of hero that just happens to save that special person that you’ve always been too shy to talk to from a fate worse than death or you did a ‘Willis’ or a ‘Snipes’ and saved people from terrorists.
I’m no different, although my last last ‘save the day’ fantasy must have been when I was in my mid teens, and it was induced by the then girl of my dreams who, as is usually the case, didn’t know I existed.
We were still in school and she was dating a scumbag who’s hobby was waiting for kids outside the school gates to either beat them up or humiliate them.
Let’s call the girl Maggie to save her blushes should she ever read this.
Scumbag, my nemesis, was Tom Harmon (name changed because he’s still out there)!  He would take great pleasure in giving me a hiding, and he did so on numerous occasions.
It was on the day of one such beating that I had this little fantasy of standing up to him and kicking his arse for a change and in doing so, winning the heart of Maggie.
This fantasy persisted for days, nay, weeks. 
But I was stupid and one day, which I still regret, I opened my big mouth and mentioned it to my soon to be EX best friend, Brian.
Within the hour, Brian had blabbed.  Within two, fingers were pointed and giggles were heard.  Within three, I was quaking in front of a pretty arrogant,  cocky and angry Tom.
Five minutes later, I had a bloody nose, a black eye and some very sore ribs.
But let me tell you folks, I didn’t go down without a fight!
In fact I didn’t even go down!
After he’d already punched me two or three times, he began to whimper like a baby.  He’d broken two fingers in his right hand on my thick skull.
So I kicked him right in the family planning department and as he folded up I kneed him in the side of the head.
This was too good to be true so, in the spirit of a true coward, I proceeded to kick and punch seven bells out of him … until Mr. Phillips (Geography and  Chemistry) pulled me off and ordered my to the Headmasters study.
I think I received, as was the norm in those days, ten blows from Mr. Bell’s (Headmaster) cane and about a weeks worth of detention, but it was worth it.
I was never bothered by Tom again ….
…. and Maggie?
Well, she hated my guts for beating up her boyfriend.
You can’t win ‘em all, eh?

By the way ... Happy Birthday Denise (my sis).  102 today!


  1. This is too funny. Well at least he didn't mess with you anymore and you were seen as the one who stood up to him by others who weren't so lucky :)A hero nonetheless to others but not to the girl you wanted to think of you as one.

  2. Funny -- and sweet. :-) Good job my friend!



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